Apologies if you can’t read their *ahem* chicken scratch.
Kit Knightly – Off-Guardian Oct 2, 2024
As of today, the UK’s “Chicken License” is in full effect. October 1st marked the deadline for registering your chickens with the proper authority.
Moving forward anyone caught with an unlicensed chicken will be in breach of the law and subject to fines and poultry reclamation.
I am entirely serious.
Back in March the UK govt’s “Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs” (DEFRA) announced changes to the poultry registration laws, essentially redefining a “flock” from “50 birds or more” to 1.
So, from now on, everybody in the country who keeps even a single bird – not just chickens, all outdoor birds – has to register as a poultry keeper.
You understand, this is all about protecting birds and the public from avian influenza, not at all about increasing government monitoring with the final aim of stamping down on self-sufficiency.
Banish that cynical thought from your head.
Fortunately, the people of the UK have a tried-and-tested method of dealing with absurdity—more absurdity.
In the run-up to the deadline thousands of people took to the DEFRA website to register their “chickens” – frozen, nuggets, unhatched and even rubber:
Just about to register my bird 樂 pic.twitter.com/zkrzWBkaq4
— 혽홀홇 (@Bel_B30) September 29, 2024
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Just completed my #chicken registration.
Suprised they didn’t ask for photos… pic.twitter.com/1aPBgdtxLL— Richard David On 핏 (@Trying_Very) September 29, 2024
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The result is that the online service strained…
and then broke:
That’s all poisoned data flooding the system rendering the register all but useless. A display of the power of malicious compliance.
Good work.
— I Support Farmers Markets (@SupportMarkets) October 1, 2024
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What “authority” do these politicos have anyway? None. They were not hired to annoy people with their inane “laws”. “Democracy” – what a joke, no wonder the scum at the top tout it as it is utterly corruptible.
Do I have to register my budgie?’😢 And what about the bird (woman) I’m seeing?😘
Failure to comply will see you up before the beak (judge)!
The police might suspect fowl play…
Give them the bird!
Tell them to flock off.
The yolks on them.
Only trying to scratch a living by feathering my nest.
YCNMTSU
What about the pigeons and seagulls and those birds that migrate.
Send for The Swedish Chef to put the chickie in the dishy.
See what the Healt Ranger in US explains in respect of food,
and it seems to apply to UK too.
https://gab.com/JeffSekerak/posts/113241298551876288
dont they register rats ? this would be frivolous
extreme since britain is infested by rats underground
+ 2leg rats overground .
Malicious compliance. Good move !
Tell them to cluck off !
Most people will see static aboit thingsthis situstion as eggstreme, eggsceptional, eggstravagent, eggstroardinary and will not be entirely eggstatic about things.
Cluckin’ Hell!
Finally .. some British humour, I almost thought it got lost ..
Maybe they should register all the eggs they buy as well….Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah! Platypus and echidna eggs as well, never mind these are mammals (oh, and fish eggs too….)
Ooops! Forgot bat eggs….
What about the kaparot chicken? are they exempted, through an amended clause in the body of holobolo-x jurisprudence, for Mortal Kombat against anti -semiticality
Of course, we all know that the avian flu scare is government-establishment-controlled bullshit and that the government is simply cracking down on independent small poultry operations to kill the growing competition snuffing them out for the sake mega farming corporations, just like what they did to the so-called “non-essential” businesses during Covid.
I remember back some 20 years ago, a friend who quit working in the largest poultry packing place in western Canada (Lilydale gobbled up in 2010 by the giant Sofina Foods from Ontario). telling me that the so-called organic “free-range” packaged chickens was nothing but a scam. They freely packaged in such organic free-range bags nothing but the same chickens they were packaging in the ordinary bags. The public could not really tell the difference unless they bought an actual “free rage” one from a small local operation, and the government inspectors obviously did not care, still don’t, and probably were paid not to care, as far as we know. The factory chickens spend their lives packed together with thousands of other chickens, all with their beaks cut off. They are fed swill which does not require pecking and given lots of antibiotics and growth hormones.
That was the trend some twenty years ago but the stealth has got much worse since. They now want to raise humans in the exact same way.
Or will these future kaparot chicken be tunneled underneath the Atlantic to the yuw-kay? From nyuw-yok, Chabad central.
Once he demanded that all Libyans raise chickens to promote self-sufficiency, even deducting the costs of cages from their wages. “It made no sense to raise chickens in apartments,” said Mansour O. El-Kikhia, a Qaddafi biographer at the University of Texas and a member of an opposition family. “People slaughtered the chickens, ate them and used the cages as dish racks.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/21/world/africa/qaddafi-killed-as-hometown-falls-to-libyan-rebels.html.
Colonel Qaddafi said women were not equal to
None of this will be reported in the UK media, lest other people get the idea.