henrymakow.com — Sept 1, 2018
Reflections on my cult brainwashing and what it cost me.
by Henry Makow Ph.D. — (Revised from Nov. 11, 2009)
Lately I have been thinking about a really great woman I knew when I was 24. I ignored Liz because I wasn’t sexually attracted to her. She was pleasant-looking but there was no “chemistry.”
She had many of the qualities in the left-hand column below, and she liked me. But my tastes and even my ideas had been formed by PLAYBOY. Average looking women were literally invisible.
I had been brainwashed by my cult-ure to believe that “sexual attraction” is 90% of what male-female relationships are all about.
Marriages were based on sexual attraction. You had to live together before marriage to make sure you were “sexually compatible.” Sex was the Holy Grail.
I was thinking about Liz lately, wondering what her life has been like. Wondering what my life would have been like had I responded to her overture.
It must be hard for really great women to be ignored just because they aren’t “hot.” I have discovered that all women are beautiful in the act of love.
I was thinking about Liz because at age 68, I realize that great sex is only part of a good marriage, say a third. I don’t want to underestimate its importance. Men and women need it and marriage is the very best way to get it.
But good sex isn’t dependent on sex appeal. It’s about showing affection and celebrating a marriage. We are looking for intimacy, not physical thrills.
Jeez, it wasn’t until recently that I understood there is often a great disconnect between a woman’s appearance and character.
What if I knew this back then? I wouldn’t have had three failed marriages by the age of 50, two largely based on sexual attraction.
I am happily married now but how different my life might have been. I might have had a family.
Men, Design your perfect “10”