{"id":63159,"date":"2013-01-05T14:00:46","date_gmt":"2013-01-05T14:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/?p=63159"},"modified":"2013-01-10T07:52:45","modified_gmt":"2013-01-10T07:52:45","slug":"dog-poet-transmitting-2-and-i-love-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/?p=63159","title":{"rendered":"Dog Poet Transmitting 2 and I Love You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Reflections in a Petri Dish \u2013 Jan 5, 2013<\/h1>\n

Dog Poet Transmitting…….<\/h5>\n
May your noses always be cold and wet.<\/h5>\n
Not a day goes by that I don\u2019t think I should cut and run. You have never seen anything like India, if you haven\u2019t seen India and I have only seen parts of The South so far. I am meeting people who are so impressive in their simplicity and native spirituality that I am in awe of the majesty of the cosmos. I\u2019m not sure I can handle this but somehow I am handling it or, should I say, it is handling me. People; consider this mountain that fills my window spaces as a god. There\u2019s something present here and whatever it may be, it is inescapable.<\/h5>\n
I\u2019m staying here under the assumption that one of the most gifted musicians I have ever met, Scott Armstrong, will eventually show up. I have to hide in my apartment much of the time. It is all just too overwhelming. People who read my blogs and live around here, know who my friend Abul is. He\u2019s that gifted at so many things that people just know who he is. I had no idea that I had so many readers, no matter where I am; I realize now. Some of them like Wendel, who once came from Indiana but is now an old India hand has such a beauty of experience wreathed around them. Some of them are full of shit.<\/h5>\n
One fellow who goes around claiming to be enlightened but who has been reading the blogs for awhile was bugging me for a bit but then, mercifully, I thought, had gone away, got in touch with Abul. Abul didn\u2019t tell me what he said and I\u2019m not the sort of person to be curious about that sort of thing. I may have some shortcomings but vanity isn\u2019t one of them. Trust me, the synchronicity here is major.<\/h5>\n
Today I was with my rickshaw driver. It was a new guy named Minux. Usually Gopal Krishna drives me everywhere. I sensed that this guy didn\u2019t really like me so… I said, let\u2019s go somewhere where I can get a beer. He said that there is nowhere in Thiruvanamalai where you can do that. I said, call Gopal. So we wound up at this hotel where I had been before and where no one is ever around; out of the outskirts of town and I said, \u201ccome have a beer with me. He said, \u201cOkay\u201d. We had a beer and I decided we should have another. There were two skin and bones dogs moving about so I ordered a complete meal for each of them. Minux opened up to me. He told me how little he made. He has a wife, a son and a daughter. He is very proud of his family. Then he said to me, \u201cYou are a very good man, a very good man\u201d. He said that in 15 years of driving a rickshaw, I am the first person to ever do this; take him out for a beer. If you need any more proof about why I despise most westerners, look no further. It has never been more clear to me that I am a black man trapped in a white man\u2019s skin- \u201cWell, it\u2019s Din! Din! Din! You lazarussian leather Gunga Din, though I\u2019ve belted you and flayed you, by the living god that made you, you\u2019re a better man that I am, Gunga Din\u201d. I still don\u2019t have internet so… I might have messed up a couple of lines.<\/h5>\n
Anyway, when Minux said that to me I burst into tears. He was so concerned for me. I told him, \u201cDo you think I feel bad? Not at all. If a man can\u2019t weep because his heart is overflowing he is dead inside, dead.\u201d Then again, how many people\u2019s hearts are overflowing? Thank God I can still feel and I have never felt so much as I am feeling now. It is fiercely intimidating. How does that line in the Paul Simon song go? \u201cMy love for you is so overpowering I am afraid that I might disappear; slip sliding away\u201d. I was on a beach in the Bahamas years ago when I heard The Persuasions singing that and I remember what it was like to be young and stupid and to believe so much, not much has changed (grin). I\u2019ve danced on a lot of beaches in my life, dancing \u201c beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circling sands, with all memory And fate, driven deep beneath the waves\u201d- etc . of anyone I have ever know has, \u201cbeen there and done that\u201d, I have… \u201cbut, are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced\u201d?<\/h5>\n
It is at once, beautiful, breathtaking, horrifying, dirty And teeming, always teeming here. I\u2019m starting to get a clue as to just what kind of a person I really am and why my invisible friends like me. Quite truthfully, I hate myself; for not having tried harder, for not having succeeded so that I could do more, for all the various shortcomings that make me what I am and what I am not. I despise myself; compared to the people who should, I have committed no great crimes but I never did enough. I never took the right road. I always went \u2018les traveled\u2019 and more difficult. For some dumb ass reason, I always do it the hard way. In short, I am a fool, no big revelation there.<\/h5>\n
I realize now that I personally don\u2019t know shit from Shinola. Am a fucking amateur fighting ghost armies in the cemeteries of night. I am no better or worse than my imagination convicts me of. I\u2019m told that I am a lot better than I think I am; relentlessly. Every time I am about to fall into the slough of despond, someone, something picks me up and says, \u201cwould I love you if you were the asshole you think you are? And that voice, like the hound of heaven pursues me down all the highways and byways of my life and the moments of my thought and says, \u201cVisible, be nice to yourself as you demonstrably are to others. I made you hate yourself for the refinement of your work and I made other people love you far better that you have ever been capable of loving yourself\u201d. To paraphrase Tom Waits; \u201c You ain\u2019t a bad guy when you get to know you\u201d.<\/h5>\n
I have never been so humbled in my life as I am now… never. I\u2019m pretty good at a few things as most of you know but I\u2019m also good at a bunch of things you don\u2019t know about but I realize now that I am not nearly as good as I thought I was, even given the fact that when you are that good, no one can contend with you. I am a mere piker. I am the living approximate of no one, nowhere. I get it now, in the shadow of this mountain. I recognize my insignificance. If you can\u2019t handle it, don\u2019t come here because everything about you will be exposed and rendered naked. If you are a real human being you will be stripped to the bone If you are a posturing prat, you won\u2019t even notice but everyone else will.<\/h5>\n
I really hope those of my readers who can afford it, come and visit and see what I have been given. As you well know, my generosity is only exceeded by my inability to perform and express it. Hey, it\u2019s winter where most of you are and through the unmatched generosity of my readers, I\u2019m okay and you will be too. All you have to do is get here. I have the food and the infrastructure and, as you know, I don\u2019t lie. I would have been caught out a long time ago. Absolutely no one on the internet has the genuine and intelligent readers that I have and there is no mistake about why that is. I would blame it on resonance, or excessive articulation for those wishing and hoping but you and I know why that is really…<\/h5>\n
I feel terrible about not sending Michael Rivero the bottle of scotch I have for him; I will though. I feel terrible about all the things I have left undone; not the least of which was to have been more diligent about letting Susanne know every day how much I love her but… there is time for all these things. I want all of you to remember that if it was not for Rixon Stewart, a lot of you would have never heard of me. If it were not for Jeff Rense, the same thing applies. I have had a lot of help coming to your attention. Bide with me friends, the best is yet to come.<\/h5>\n
It is 3 days later and I* still don\u2019t have internet. But check this out. I live several kilometers out of town, on a dead end street and… inexplicably someone opened an internet caf\u00e9 25 meters from my apartment. I am going to go post this there now. I trust that Sim will fix the punctuation problems in this posting. Lady K shows up today and that will help. I can\u2019t sleep for this mountain brooding over me. Truth be known, I need a handler but that will come. I cannot manage my life. I\u2019m lucky I can go to the toilet without a handler; just being honest. One thing I have always tried to do, my readers, is to be honest with you. I can\u2019t cut and run. I may be a lot of things but I am no coward. I will face what I have to. I have probably watched \u201cPure County\u201d ten times since I got here and \u201cTime Bandits\u201d plenty too. If you are going to come to India there is one thing you have to do; make an honest rickshaw driver your friend. I\u2019ve done that.<\/h5>\n
One thing more, Tulsia, who lives with Abdul and is one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on; black as coal, with all the beauty and brilliance of her kind… make no mistake. She has cared for me and looked out for me. Of all the people in this camp, Tulsia has looked out for me the most. If you are glad I am still alive, blame her. I went into a store with her a few days ago and some punks insulted her and I came within a heart-breath of grabbing both of them by the collar and letting them know what was what. I didn\u2019t do it out of respect for her. That is what she means to me. I definitely have visible and invisible friends. You really should be here.<\/h5>\n
End Transmission…….<\/h5>\n
Visible unplugged: \u266b Without a Clue \u266b<\/span><\/em><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/h5>\n

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Not a day goes by that I don\u2019t think I should cut and run. You have never seen anything like India, if you haven\u2019t seen India. It is at once, beautiful, breathtaking, horrifying, dirty. And teeming, always teeming<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":128,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-63159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-Commentary"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/128"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=63159"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":63428,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63159\/revisions\/63428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=63159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=63159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thetruthseeker.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=63159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}