Dog Poet Transmitting…….<\/p>\n
I have the strangest life, I live in my heart and my imagination. As strange as I am and there are several personalities to choose from, I am not as strange as the people I meet and hear about. I was standing with a woman that I had been talking to for some hours. We were standing on the street and she had shown me a place where I could wait for the dawn. I saw hundreds of people. I had seen very few people for months. So I studied people\u2019s body language and their faces.<\/p>\n
Often I was doing this while this woman talked to me. I was in a bar area that is only open on Tuesday. There was a big park and people were standing there and sitting there and not dancing. It was Switzerland and Switzerland is about the money, no matter where you are. It\u2019s the reason that most them don\u2019t have any fun. They have their pension and their latter years but life is gone by then. Some of them are friendly and some are not and it\u2019s about half and half. Usually the women are much friendlier. Most people speak English. I don\u2019t go to Basel much because it depresses me.<\/p>\n
When I dance people stare because they are not doing it. In Italy you can sing in the street and I do, and people laugh. In Switzerland they just look at me like I\u2019m crazy. I walk through the malls and traffic-less streets and I sing loud and I smile and I look in their eyes. The foreigners understand. This woman was a foreigner from Ost bloc. She had been through a lot and it had changed her but she had a confidence and drive that was infectious..<\/p>\n
A crazy person came into the park and everyone got tense. There were a hundred people there. The woman said that there were some Spaniards and Portuguese who were angry with each other, she was apprehensive and said, \u201cI hope he doesn\u2019t come over here.\u201d I saw another guy. He looked like he was high on speed. It was at a carnival and he was intimidating the people around him. For some reason I didn\u2019t go over there. He was a big guy in good shape but he was crazy. I would see the person yelling in the park wasn\u2019t coming over to us and I told her so. I\u2019ve seen this several times. They let these people do their thing but everyone seems to be afraid. When it rains only a little bit, thousands of umbrellas bloom; it\u2019s the money.<\/p>\n
She said, \u201cI hope so\u201d and I could see she had experiences. Once I was locked up in the Nogales jail for smuggling. I wasn\u2019t smuggling, the guys with me had left their pot and pills on the other side of the border. After tearing the van apart for six hours they let us go, followed us and lost us and then got a car in front that braked fast. I told the guy to drop it out the window. He waited for the car to stop and then he did.<\/p>\n
So I was in the Nogales jail with a couple of other people. One was a white guy who had been around but was small. Another guy was one of those genial Mexicans that you always see in jail. They let this black guy in. He was big and for all I know he was frightened, crazy sure. We were sitting at a table and he was standing and yelling about kicking people\u2019s asses and then looking at us and glaring and daring us to say something. This was a period where I had two altercations and wasn\u2019t afraid of anything. It isn\u2019t always like that.<\/p>\n
This guy was getting menacing and it was a matter of time before he called for either fealty which might have gone anywhere or submission. No one was going to do anything if I didn\u2019t. He was moving on the white guy who was cringing in his chair. Like I often do I acted without thought and I jumped up and told he if he didn\u2019t shut up I was going to shut him up and I walked around the table and then said, \u201cCut your loses, no one\u2019s going to bother you.\u201d He started yelling and swelling up and I just looked at him and he went away and there was no further problem. There could have been but often there is not. I got moved to the Maricopa County jail and there was this white trash, southern boy who keyed on me. Part of it had to do with meditating on my bunk and part of it was personality. <\/p>\n
He kept on taunting me and I ignored it. The fellow I was sitting with said, \u201cYou\u2019re going to have to deal with it sooner or later. I nodded and went on with my business and he did something and I said, \u201cThe next time you do anything to me I am going to fight you. Stop now and you won\u2019t be sorry.\u201d I didn\u2019t know what he knew but bullies are mostly hot air; not all of them though. Later I was sitting on my bed and a roll of toilet paper sailed in front of my nose. \u201cOkay, that\u2019s it I said, I walked down the aisle to him. He has backed up and was holding his hands in a way that didn\u2019t inspire confidence and he had a gleam in his eye like he knew me and owned me. I said, \u201cWe can end it right here, I\u2019m giving you a chance. Otherwise I have to kick your ass\u201d<\/p>\n
He sneered and I went into a boxing stance. I had won several medals as a kid mostly because my hands have always been fast. Susanne remarked on it the other day. No, we don\u2019t spar but I do stay in some kind of shape. Rick Glover is always out there and fixated on me. Anyway, he threw a punch, I blocked it and hit him with a three punch combination and he went down with a bloody mouth. I stood over him and said don\u2019t get up. If you fuck with me again I\u2019ll give you to one of these guys as a sex toy and I meant it. I never heard from him again.<\/p>\n
When I was young people used to pick on me all the time and sit on my chest and torment me for hours. Eventually they would do something and I would get angry and beat them up but I always forgot and people would be sitting on my chest again. The Kundalini changed it and the instant martial arts, which didn\u2019t get fluid until recently.<\/p>\n
I realized what I saw in people\u2019s faces was fear. Fear of intimacy, fear of others and fear of social situations. I saw all sorts of people who wanted to have sex and all they had to do as announce it and they didn\u2019t. Back in the past I would just get up sometimes and say, \u201cLook, I see all of you people looking at each other and you want to be naked in a room. Tell someone and get it on. You\u2019re pinging in my head and I\u2019m trying to enjoy my high.<\/p>\n
Most of the time what we fear is bogus but if we face it, even if it kicks our ass, for some reason it goes away. I looked at this lady and she was genuinely afraid of this screaming guy. I said \u201cdon\u2019t worry about it, I\u2019ll take care of it.\u201d \u201cHow\u201d she asked. \u201cI\u2019ll just be louder and more crazy.\u201d You see it in prison all the time and there\u2019s nowhere to go either. The guy quieted down and that was the end of it.<\/p>\n
She walked down the street to a place that wasn\u2019t open (I\u2019ll tell the rest of the tale at Smoking Mirrors comments today). Then she said, could she hug me and she would have that even if I didn\u2019t communicate like I said I would. I hugged her and looked down the street and I said, \u201cI\u2019m free. That\u2019s the one thing I\u2019ve got. I can go anywhere and I don\u2019t have this thing lurking over me like most people.\u201d It was profound at the moment and I expanded on it but couldn\u2019t remember what I had said.<\/p>\n
Some of us have friends as our wealth and some of us are free too because that\u2019s how we lived. It isn\u2019t easy in the beginning that\u2019s why few do it. They opt for the job and the security. I was in my forties and the producer of the dinner theatre I was acting in said, \u201cVisible, you have to get it together. You have no savings, no insurance and no pension. What are you going to do?\u201d \u201cGod will provide\u201d, I said and he always has. He\u2019s fed me and sheltered me and been the courage inside me when I didn\u2019t have any of my own. God can kick anyone\u2019s ass and he\u2019s inside us. You have to go through a lot of shit but at least you get out of it instead of deeper into it.<\/p>\n
I said yesterday when I was ragged, \u201cYou know Susanne, I didn\u2019t do too bad. I\u2019m free like few people are and I have friends. If it all fell down, I have dozens of places to go where people will take me in and help me up. How many people can say that? I gave myself away and I put my hope and trust in people. All the shit I went through and it worked out in the end; just like it can for anyone who puts their effort and coin into the human experience. Sure I\u2019m crazy and I do things that may not be safe or wise but I\u2019m not afraid of that screaming man and you don\u2019t read in my face what I was reading in all those people\u2019s faces. You can question my judgment but I jumped right in and I\u2019m not afraid of being close to others or loving the human race. That\u2019s why I\u2019m singing when I go down the street. I\u2019m letting people know that they didn\u2019t get me. There\u2019s one of us still loose and I suspect there\u2019s more.<\/p>\n
I run into bullies of all types all the time but I sing to them too and they go around me to find someone that\u2019s afraid of them, just like anyone does. That other night, I told this lady, \u201cI could go anywhere from here\u201d and I meant it. There were no borders or boundaries, I was free.<\/p>\n
End Transmission……. <\/p>\n