Listen Up, You Congressional Morons!
by Edgar J. Steele - Nickel Rant November 13, 2006
My name is Edgar J. Steele. This is a Nickel Rant.
Every politician and pundit has tried to explain why the Republicans lost big. They all are wrong. Now, for the first time, hear the truth.
How can all of them be wrong? Ever wonder why movie critics promote dreary, boring movies filled with plot twists and convoluted language, while regular guys like straightforward action flicks and the average woman is drawn to heart-rending romantic dramas brim full of domestic strife?
Movie critics don't have lives, that's why. They spend all their time watching movies and searching for deep meanings upon which to comment. They are out of touch and incapable of wanting what the rest of us want when we decide to watch a movie. Critics probably started out okay, as pure fans, but a steady diet of anything will change one's taste ("refining it" is the way they would describe the process, of course). Too close to the trees to see the forest, in other words.
Even more out of touch are the movie studio bosses, who fancy themselves as opinion molders, in any event, with their own expectations shaped from wishful thinking born of the lust for money and power. They should ask newspaper publishers and television network owners, hopelessly out to lunch and claiming befuddlement at the rapid decline of their own audiences, just how that attitude is working out for them!
The same rationale applies to the radio/TV talking heads now pontificating upon why the Republicans took a shellacking in the mid-term elections. Pat Buchanan and others opine that Republicans lost because their party lost touch with its core conservative values. Liberal commentators consider it an awakening and revalidation of leftist thinking.
Politicians seem the most out of touch with the message delivered by America's electorate, with some considering it a mandate for Clintonesque government and others a simple repudiation of war done wrong.
Well, listen up, you morons, particularly those of you in Congress, both coming and going, because I am going to tell you, in plain language and without subtle innuendo, exactly what it is that voters said this past week.
None of you has a mandate for anything. Not one. Had each elected position on last week's ballot carried an option marked "leave this job vacant for the entire term," a much larger number of you now would be seeking new employment than you possibly can imagine.
Very few of you actually are wanted in your position. You newly elected are there simply because we wanted to deliver a message to all of you, not because you somehow are better in our eyes. Those of you heading out the door are leaving for the same reason. Make no mistake about this fact and get over yourselves. Are you listening, incoming House Speaker Nancy Pelosi? Get over yourself and do it now. Our patience with Congressional hubris and incompetence has grown exceedingly thin.
Here's the message: We are fed up with your bullshit. Let me repeat that in words of one syllable for those of you unaccustomed to listening to your constituents: We are fed up with your bull shit. Admit it - you know the truth when you hear it and this is truth at its simplest and most fundamental level.
This has nothing to do with being Democrat or Republican. Neither do conservative nor liberal values figure into the equation. You are not blameless simply because Bush has proven so frightfully bad at being President. After all, you made possible every single thing that he has done. You were our trump card - our safety net - and you let us down!
Above all, we are sick to death of being the World's bad guys! We want America once again to be at the forefront of the good guys. We don't need or want to run the world.
You have proven yourselves incapable of running small nations that America bombs back into the Stone Age on behalf of foreign interests. You thereby have proven our own inability to select decent leadership for ourselves. Why, you have proven incapable of putting your own political party houses in order! Your individual records of corruption, fiscal mismanagement and sexual misbehavior defy description and thus demonstrate your inability, even, to run your own lives. It is folly to think you capable of running the lives of others, let alone entire nations of people and, least of all, the rest of us.
We are through with tolerating the death of our children in foreign lands for the benefit of special interests, particularly those foreign to America. End that stupid war and do it NOW. Get our sons and daughters back home in time for the holidays. Make no mistake about our resolve in this regard, incidentally.
We have had it with the sex scandals and stupid personal behavior of every sort on the part of you clowns. That explains a good deal of why we voted "yes" on Marriage initiatives everywhere they appeared on the ballot. You are there to work on our behalf, not to fornicate and not to molest our children!
Corruption has to be reduced dramatically, if not eliminated altogether. In particular, you had better stop lining your own pockets with bribes and graft while voting yourselves princely wages and perquisites. Thinking yourselves better than the rest of us is salt in the wound. Even more particularly, you had best shut down the Israeli lobby and start tending to traditionally American interests again. Otherwise, consider what the view might be like while dangling from the end of a rope tied to a lamp post.
All of Bush's illegal Executive Orders and Signing Statements are to be declared null and void.
We want illegal immigration stopped. Now. In fact, we want it reversed. No amnesty, no how, for nobody no more.
The American police state must be dismantled immediately. We are not the enemy. Try to use what you have created and you will learn the real meaning of force. The Military Commissions Act, Warner Defense Authorization Act, both Patriot Acts and all related limitations upon the U.S. Constitution are to be rescinded. All prosecutions under these un-Constitutional laws are to stop and all previous convictions are to be vacated with records expunged. The Department of Homeland Security is to be disbanded. Michael Chertoff is to be investigated and charged if shown to have acted beyond his authority in any regard.
You must stop spending our grandchildren's wealth. Already, you have squandered that built up over generations by our forebears. We realize it is too late to stop the economic freight train now bearing down upon our children and ourselves, but you must stop this madness before we become a nation of debt slaves in perpetuity.
George Bush and Dick Cheney must be impeached, convicted and removed from office. It is not enough to stop their mindless rampage through domestic freedom and international orderliness via Congressional gridlock. We require a symbolic cleansing. We must show the world and our children that no American is above the law. Afterward, along with their Neocon handlers, they are to be bound over for criminal trial for the high crimes they have committed, particularly their war crimes against all of humanity.
The impending North American Union of the USA with Canada and Mexico is to be repudiated.
All financial market interference and manipulation must stop now. Devalue the dollar to its true worth, vis-à-vis international currencies and release all other countries from any requirement of using the dollar as the world's reserve currency.
Most important of the financial reforms, the Federal Reserve Bank must be dismantled and its private, mostly foreign, owners required to disgorge their ill-gotten gains. This can be accomplished simply by printing a single Federal Reserve Note with the face value of America's entire national debt plus the value of those foreigners' holdings within America and handing it over to them in payment for their holdings and satisfaction of the mind-boggling sums they claim to be owed. Yes, it can be that easy.
The international banking families who own the Federal Reserve Bank created the problem of the incredible shrinking American dollar to mask their own underlying theft of our wealth. Therefore, they cannot complain if there is no inherent value to what they receive for their exceedingly evil machinations of the past 90 years.
There must be an orderly transition to a new American dollar, limited in its growth by an external, non-manipulable standard. Gold and silver traditionally have served this purpose, merely because their extraction from the ground has matched, approximately, the general increase in the world's population and productivity. This single, simple expedient automatically will eliminate inflation for all time, together with the related impoverishment that it brings to our parents and grandparents.
That will do for starters. Accomplish these things and we might just re-elect you next time around to work on an all-new to-do list. Fail and we all fail, because - and make no mistake about this, either - if we go down, we will take you with us ... and it won't be pretty. I, for one, will spend my last pennies on a length of good, solid rope.
My name is Edgar J. Steele. Thanks for listening. Please visit my web site, www.ConspiracyPenPal.com, for other messages just like this one
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Last updated 17/11/2006