I'm a Prisoner of Porn and Can't Escape
By “Mike” – for Henry Makow.com February 27, 2010
CAUTION!!! EXPLICIT LANGUAGE/CONTENT
re. "Porn -- Drugged, Bruised Prostitutes"
This article woke me up from a long and very deep sleep.
I found a load of VHS and BetaMax tapes hidden in my father's hiding place way back in 1982 when I was 11 years old.
A plastic carrier bag from a local supermarket was pushed on top of a water tank in a cupboard upstairs at home. I was curious to see what was inside and so climbed up onto a chair and took the bag down to examine the contents. I remember seeing VHS and Betamax tapes (We didn't have a Betamax) and wondering why they were hidden in the cupboard.
When I pushed that first video tape into the VHS top loader and pressed the play button I could not believe my eyes! Real women showing their p***y up close and getting f***ed. They looked amazing and even though much older than me. (They were most likely teens, 18 years plus) I found myself overwhelmed with sexual excitement. Feelings that I had never experienced began to rush through my body and I came in a few minutes. That was it, I was instantly addicted to porn!
Fast forward to my years as a teenager and I managed to get a date with the high school slag. She was not bad looking but gave hand jobs out to anyone she thought was okay and fun to hang around with after school. As you can imagine, she had a lot of boys wanting to be her friend. I remember that she couldn't believe what I could do to her and for that reason we were a couple for a long time. I just gave her what I had seen the men on the videos doing and she liked it a lot.
From that time I went through my late teens and right up to my mid thirties sleeping with as many good looking women as possible to fuel my sex craving from all the porn. I was a DJ at a nightclub and this was perfect for picking up very pretty looking girls who were high on ecstasy and wanting to have good sex.
I would meet a girl at a nightclub, take her home and then return a few hours later to do the same thing with a 'fresh' woman. I lost count of my partners years ago and it is very sad to realize that I am really (this is hard to admit) still stuck inside the porn illusion. For all the women I slept with, I don't think that I could ever have got to know any of them and if they showed any interest, I would run a mile.
It was a sexual desire and all I wanted from them was sex and that was all. I filmed them, photographed them, slept with two at a time and all sorts of my darkest desires were catered for during my height of sexual conquests. I met some of the kinkiest women you can imagine and also some very nice sweet girls who were looking for a long term relationship; sorry for those girls.
No matter how much they satisfied me sexually at the time I would often switch on my VHS video player and watch a good porno soon after they had left. Can you imagine this! A gorgeous woman has just let me f**k her in which ever way I want and then as soon as she's out the door I'm jerking off to porn? crazy!!
When you see porn you don't see the abuse and sadness that goes on behind the scenes. Instead you see a hot teen with a shaved p***y giving you what you really want to see.These girls are very pretty for most parts and even some of the not so good looking ones may have something about them that gets you off. There is no way to get a fix and even when you bookmark your (at the time) favourite movie a few days, or even hours, later you are looking for fresh p***y. you can NEVER get a fix from this stuff. It sits in your mind and all day long it taps your sub conscious and tells you to look at more because it is better than real sex.
It isn't and will never be better than a real woman but like drugs it traps you in a place that you can't leave without help and very strong willpower. It is seductive and I really believe that it is from Satan. This may sound crazy but I do honestly believe that Satan has control of this and through his channels he promotes this addictive and very destructive poison through the illuminati elite class. It is a great way to control you and promote a society that looks at marriage as something for weak pussies who have no balls. Be a man and go out to fuck bitches. thats'[s what they want you to do. That way the family unit is destroyed and Satan can manipulate his workers into the perfect controlled world that he is getting closer to each hour of the day; with the help of our so called leaders.
Porn addiction has been a real problem for me and I imagine it is a serious and very damaging problem for millions of other teens, male and female, throughout the modern world. I run my own business here in the UK but so many times I get up early to start work and switch the computer on; then I am straight onto a porn site. Bad Jo Jo, Porn Rabbit, you name it, there are thousands of these damn 'Tube' sites. Before I know it half the day has gone by and all I have done is jerk off. Great way to run a business!
It is now so bad that every time I look at my computer I start to think about sex and sometimes can't wait to get home to look for a fresh 'fix'. I have a girlfriend (for the first time ever) who is very pretty with a great body but even so I often go to bed after her and will jerk off to a slut I don't know and don't care about while the woman who truly loves me sleeps above in the room where I am looking at this shit.
This is only going to explode and will become much worse than it is now. You can't go anywhere near a mobile phone or the Internet without some sex related material on display and if you say to someone that it will screw them up they think you're old fashioned or weird. I am not a hypocrite and never slam anyone for doing what i do; that would be self righteous and I just hate that sort of person.
All I can say is this; If you are starting to like porn movies and have a bit of a habit developing, stop right now. You will seriously fuck yourself up. Emotionally you won't be able to bond with a partner (Well, not properly) and if the addiction is very strong you will never lose the desire to watch it whenever you get the chance. You will spend hours of your life playing with your d**k (Or P***y, girls) and will waste loads of time on your own looking at a computer monitor in search of that never achievable fix.
It is very depressing and can, I believe, lead to mental health issues and possibly suicidal thoughts as you realize that you can't get this fantasy sex in the real world. You can have amazing sex, don't get me wrong, but it is not the same fix as when you're sat jerking off to a person who isn't there to see your reaction and maybe even fall in love with you, and you with her.
Porn has ruined a lot of my feelings for the opposite sex and I feel bad for my girlfriend. I regularly decline her offers for sex and instead wait, sometimes all night, for her to go to bed so that I can find my dream sex fantasy. It isn't real but the magnetic draw is very real and will pull you away from an actual woman. If you are the shy type and are too afraid of talking to women, men, or you may not live in an area or work where you can meet somebody it is still dangerous to rely on this shit.
Anyway, I had to write this as I'm hoping it may just prevent someone else from going along the same road that I did back in 1982. I'm still on that road and would love to find an exit but so far the road is between a barrier of beautiful and sexy women who give me continued sexual pleasure. What I can't seem to do is just slow down and notice that the exit is always there if you look for it.
Porn really will blind you from the true meaning of sex. It was meant to be a gift from God to bond the two persons together so that the two become as one flesh and enjoy not just the sex but all of the other amazing things that a partnership can bring, love, loyalty, a family and other more important things. Porn has to go or else no one will ever stand a chance of a successful and happy relationship.
Last updated 02/03/2010