Posting from the Bridge Again
Reflections in a Petri Dish Ė January 13, 2010
Dog Poet TransmittingÖ
This hurts to write this and is probably going to take awhile since I am not myself these days. I canít remember being this messed up and out of orbit. Sad to say but true; I am starting to sound like a soap opera as a shill said recently. This should probably go to Origami because of the context but I am here at Petri Dish and maybe I can throw in some sarcasm and humor to justify that.
I am getting a blitzkrieg of letters from a woman who feels I done her wrong. If I was wrong then my usually 99.99% intuition is off. I spent a lot of time in institutions and situations where not reading the signals right could mean your life or worse. There are things that are worse than dying because you have to go on living with them. Luckily my reflexes and training and especially my intuition were working properly and I danced out of the way. Even though I have had to walk some very hard highway, I have been the beneficiary of some marvelous protection. Just to list the incidents and close calls would occupy one of these blogs for a solid month.
Last year, or whenever it was, I spoke of an Ayahuasca experience. Those familiar with my writing remember the post about God having his morning coffee; conferring his blessings and then kicking some ass. I donít know how to put into words how intense this wasÖ and I know intense, believe me. I was slamming my leg into the futon side over and over as punctuation while GodÖ or one of his angels- same thing- told me about what was coming.
I donít have much and Iím not much, not in my mind anyway. Iíve hardly had two nickels to rub together a lot of the time. I have had some dynamic spiritual experiences and God has convincingly kicked my ass more than once. I understand why now. I didnít at the time.
Well, I put myself in harms way again and Iím still there right now. I feel like Tom Sellick in that great film, ďAn Innocent ManĒ. Sometimes it just comes at you and there is nothing you can do about it. To top it off, my dog Poncho had a terrible seizure last night and he wasnít right until this morning. I think it was my fault too because I wasnít right and it came back on my dog. Maybe you have some idea of how that makes me feel right now and maybe you donít but itís not good.
Now today someone sends me something by David Icke. I donít want to talk stink about David. He reprints my workÖ or someone over there does. My problem with him is that he has a lot of Carnival barker in him and I just get so pissed when I have to scroll through pages of adverts to read the news. I know we have to make a living but I have trusted God for that and not myself. Iíve had some tough times but God has always looked out for me and when it comes down to it I donít have any other friends unless they are agents of God. Iíve had my house burned down and lost everything I owned more times than I can remember and I donít remember so well right now.
Anyway, David says he is getting slammed and thereís some kind of chewing gum coming out of the sky. That is easier for me to accept than some of that sex slave mind control stuff. A simple practical awareness tells you that those people donít get to talk about it later on. I only bring David up because I am getting hammered too so maybe this is what it is and maybe that woman that I got tough with isnít really a double agent. Itís hard to know whatís going on any more.
I wouldnít be writing this at all except for what happened last night. I wasnít sure I would be writing anything for awhile and I canít seem to do my radio shows either but last night, after Poncho had his seizure and we were laying in bed my Ayahuasca experience came back on me full tilt. If you have any psychedelic experience you know the significance of yawning. It is a sign of awakening. All of a sudden I started to yawn over and over again. Deep and extended they were and the voice came back and told me he was on the way.
I saw Krishna. It had to be him. I meanÖ itís pretty hard to mistake and he had huge angels or whatever they are called behind him in a kind of flying wedge and he said Iím coming. He said he might be coming personally but he was certainly going to come in the hearts where he was welcome and to the degree that he could be received and I wound up slamming my leg into the mattress; different room this time and I got no sleep I donít think.
I probably shouldnít feel too bad even though I do feel terrible for whatever the reason is. He said some good things to me. Iím going to be fine and more than fine so I should just take what is happening and he told me that everything that was happening he was doing to me. No government forces were doing itÖ no double agents were doing itÖ no demons were doing it because they all work for him anyway whether they know it or not. He said maybe it was coming from here or there but he was well aware of it and of every single detail in my life at every moment and just because I didnít know that or was unaware of it didnít make it any less true; more slamming of the leg on the mattressÖ more extended yawning and repetitive clenching at the gut and fire in the Kunda.
I suppose anyone would feel good about this, objectively speaking; but itís not the same when itís happening to you. It reminds me of what Bilbo said to Gandalf about having adventures. It always sounds good in the books but in real life you have to sleep in the rain with roots digging into your back and there are trolls and goblins and all manner of bad folk. It sounds thrilling in a book. Itís a little different in real life.
The one thing I remember most about last night was the awesome force and power. It just cramps your body up inside itself and every word, every pulse just hits so hard. It burns and wounds because you know you donít even deserve the attention in the first place. That is probably the most crippling featureÖ to know just how unworthy you are. All you have to do is hear the voice and every sin in your life is magnified just like that.
So.. Iím just writing this to say that help is on the way. You have my word on that and even better than my word which doesnít mean all that much when you get down to it. It isnít moving in our time concordances so it could be tomorrow or two years away but the impression I got and what I remember saying more than once is that it is closer than it looks and I would really not want to be Nancy Pelosi or Gordon Brown or any of the rest of them. If I were any member of Congress right now, I would make a statement on the capital steps and walk away. If I were anyone high up in the military I would put down my power because real power is coming and you do not want to be giving the impression of any power at all when real power comes.
I guess you can imagine the impact this had on me and still does. I donít like to talk about these kinds of experiences. It diminishes them and I know I havenít been right lately and I have probably let you down. I am going to try to get it together but thatís not up to me. I was told that not a single thing is up to me or am I the deciding party in any of it soÖ what can I say?
Iíve made some good friends here though I may never meet you. You have made whatever this is happen. Iíve never been anyone important and I didnít want to be. I just wanted my walled gardenÖ my paradiz ( taken from the Pakistani) which means walled garden. I just wanted to be able to play with my dogs and grow my succulents and be away from prying eyes. I guess in these times we canít ask for things like that. As Nina saidÖ there are times you have to ďman upĒ. Iím not sure I am capable of that but I donít have to be. Help is on the way.
Last updated 16/01/2010