Men – Seek Helpmates, Not Soulmates (Updated)

henrymakow.com — Oct 9, 2018

Girl Friday ImageThomas Hardy and T.S. Eliot married their secretaries. Dostoyevsky married his translator. I married my webmaster. It was love at first site.
Love perfection but do not seek it in a flawed fellow human being, a woman. “

“And God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a help meet for him.”  Genesis 2:18
Update1 (Oct 8, 2018)- As we were watching the news, my wife said, “Judge Kavanaugh is a liar.”  You heard right. Kavanaugh, not Ford, is the liar. My wife is a cookie cutter liberal. She would have voted for Hillary. She is totally brainwashed. This would be enough to break up most marriages. How can I love someone who is so politically brain-dead? My marriage not only survives but thrives because:
  1. Obviously, I don’t take her political views seriously. She is a techie and hasn’t spent an hour investigating the NWO, let alone reading my site which upsets her.
  2. Men should not take what women say seriously until she proves herself competent on the subject.
  3. Women are different from men. They are facilitators. They make things happen. In the past, they cooked and made clothes and looked after children. They are not meant to be idealized or worshiped. They are meant to be loved for the precious things they do. This website was my wife’s idea 18 years ago. She designed it and helps me if I have a technical problem.
Women tend to be down to earth and practical. My wife has a head for details. I am a big picture guy. She lets me know when I’m about to step in shit, or approaching a speed camera.
I make major decisions, after consulting her. She is reasonable and has many other fine qualities. So why would I spoil a terrific marriage over a trivial matter like politics? (Should we treat most brainwashed leftie women with similar compassion?)
Update2 (April 2016)-  I could almost feel my friend, a feminized male, flinch when I said, “The heterosexual dynamic is based on a man convincing a woman to do what he wants and her acquiescing.” I had committed heresy. These words are politically incorrect in our Cabalist societal cult. Forbidden. Yet ironically they make for successful relationships while feminism usually doesn’t.
As I have said, men want power; women want love. Heterosexual marriage is the exchange of the two. Women surrender power in exchange for male power expressed as love. Exclusive sex is the symbol of this contract. I’m not suggesting a woman should acquiesce to all men (as they do sexually under feminism) but only to the man who has patiently earned her love (trust) through courtship. If she ceases to acquiesce or he ceases to love, the contract is broken.
The conversation turned to child rearing. My friend has a four-year-old son and remarked that he is tired of letting his son make the decisions. Children want to be told what to do. Ironically, that is true of many women also. They want responsible loving leadership. Men have been emasculated. Masculinity involves taking loving charge of a woman (and children.) 
In our society, there is a pathological emphasis on “relationships.”  We seek to be validated by other people. Paradoxically, this over-dependence on others tends to impede successful relationships. The most important relationship is with yourself. That’s the only approval we need.
A woman should not be loved for her sex appeal or beauty. She did nothing to deserve them. They are gifts of nature.  A woman should be loved for her deeds. She should earn a man’s love.

by Henry Makow Ph.D. — from April 26, 2014

I wish I understood the following 47 years ago when I was 21.
Men, marry a helpmate, not a soulmate. I have been married to one for 18 years. It works for me. If you can find a “soulmate,” I tip my hat to you.
To those who say helpmates are boring, I say “Hallelujah.” I don’t depend on my marriage for excitement.  However, my wife is not what feminists call “a doormat.” She has a masters degree and a career. She’s smart, honest and has a good sense of humor.
“You contradict everything I say,” I tell her. “Not all the time,” she replies.
I have brought her breakfast in bed for 18 years, a gesture of my love and appreciation for letting me be the boss.
So, here’s my advice in ten points.

 

Continues …

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