The Worries of Mr. Blair

Though this title sounds a little like a chapter from PG Wodehouse, it is apparent that Blair does indeed have his worries. We can imagine some of the minor ones, such as fretting whether the coffee is too hot or too cold, while he jets from one pointless meeting to another. Or being troubled that he only has six feet of legroom instead of ten. ‘Envoy’ Blair will not share the fate of the poor proles crammed into tourist class who keel over from DVT with monotonous regularity!

No, in Blair’s own imagination at least, the big worry of last week was assassination. The envoy/ex-PM/disaster area feared danger in Gaza. Maybe he’d seen too many re-runs of Raiders of the Lost Ark or similar film productions that feature giant, scimitar-wielding Arabs lurking outside of the souk. It’s true that the region once saw the assassination of high-ranking diplomats and ministers such as Lord Moyne and Count Bernadotte. But I suspect that any conceivable Arab group lacks the high expertise displayed in such matters by the Stern Gang otherwise known as Fighters for Freedom of Israel.

Over recent years, the people of Gaza have been shot, starved, bombed, deafened by sonic booms, even flattened in their own homes. In one typical case, Ashur Salem, a deaf old man, was crushed to death by rubble when bulldozers demolished his home. The usual peremptory warning of a few minutes was useless because of his disability. Yet the pampered pet of plutocracy has the cheek to worry about his own safety in Gaza, when he’d be protected by phalanxes of security men. The envoy would have floated along in a luxurious bubble in the very midst of the rubble and hunger of slow-motion genocide.

The British media was as misleading as ever in reporting the background to the non-appearance of Blair in Gaza. According to them, Hamas seized power. No they didn’t – Hamas were democratically elected, in an election probably much fairer than those found in Florida. But that’s not the least of it. Hamas are also – horror of horrors – described as ‘a militant group’, positioning them, as it were, just one remove away from those Hollywoodian Arabs with swords. How scary for Blair! But given the fate of Ashur Salem described above, isn’t only natural that Hamas are militant? They would hardly be normal otherwise.

These are the ‘terrorists’ with whom besuited bien-pensants like Blair do not negotiate. But the term ‘terrorist’ is meaningless anyway; it is just a value judgement. As the cliche has it: one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.

But what ‘terrorist’ organisation can compare with a politician who seemingly had a war for every year he was in office? In Sierra Leone, the troops went in – ostensibly- to save democracy, but in reality to protect the profits of the diamond and precious metal corporations. Dozens of Africans were massacred by special forces, but – hey hey – that was for peace and freedom. Belgrade was carpet bombed for eighty days, including the Orthodox Easter, for the same supposed cause. Likewise, Iraq was destroyed under an identical invocation of freedom, peace and democracy. Put through my handy globalisation/NWO translator, that really reads: plunder, power and paranoia. In his own country, Blair showed his compassion by presiding over cutbacks in the meagre benefits given to the sick and disabled.

Gaza and Hamas are better off without the presence of this particular distinguished Christian gentleman.