Visible Origami — June 4, 2013
Dog Poet Transmitting…….
Well, I guess it was to be expected. Running into opposition has always been a mainstay of mine and seeing as I have been compelled to break eggs to make an omelet, or step on frogs, I have my share of detractors and enemies. Two devoted and long time trolls, Torus and Lizzie, working in tandem have set out to disparage me. Torus was around these sites for years. He still is. For a long time he was very amicable and giving me praise for my work. Then, for some reason, he became very cynical and dark, seeming to hate everything. He was pretty perverse. If I said something positive, he would counter with the negative. If I said something negative he would chide me for not being positive. The thing is, his ego got pricked and he became enraged. I let him know that I didn’t appreciate the way he went about things and in the process of reading him his inventory, by way of explanation for why he was doing what he was doing, he went Nova …and has been routinely harsh and sneering since. As Lao Tzu said, “those who feel pricked must have once been a bubble”. For some people, their egos are not capable of withstanding any form of critique. He is joined in his efforts by Lizzie, who has been trolling here for years and who is not Lizzie. She always posts at these sites anonymously. Apparently it’s different at the Icke site. I could go into greater and more revealing detail but there’s no real point to that. Then again (grin).
I let the readers know a long time ago that I was compelled to act out under certain circumstances, to avoid certain pitfalls that might come my way, if I just let things slide. In the cases where I did act out, without exception, all of the protagonists proved to be just what I was sensing and… in spades. Had I not done what I did, I would still be interactive with these people and headed for some kind of disaster with them further down the road, when it would be far more inconvenient than a simple parting of the ways, due to divergent motivations. Some people are after things I am not in pursuit of and they get disappointed and then inflamed as their needs are not being met. I am supposed to be their trained monkey, who plays the role they have assigned to me. It would be a fabrication but they are okay with that. Following that, they set out to hurt me publicly and concoct all kinds of wild tales about things that did not happen. This latter is something I have never understood. The truth should be enough. Unfortunately for their perspective, the truth did not provide enough juice for the reactions they had in mind. All of these people are terminally on the outs with me because of injured pride, failed expectations, or any one of a number of things. At the time of the events I was somewhat upset that such things even needed to happen but… what came after proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the best and only course to take, however uncomfortable it might have been in the short run. I’m pretty much interested in the long run in any case.
You can’t do this job, writing long postings every day, from various perspectives, as well as radio broadcasts and other things, without running into some flack and static. You have to have that duck’s back or a thick hide. In these times of pervasive tension and ratcheting uncertainty, people become very unstable and off center. For some, seeing what I do and the response I often get, reacts off of how they see themselves and their own lives, with not a great deal to show for it. All it takes is persistent industry and a desire to refine as you go. Some native talent is essential and maybe they lack that. It’s a longstanding tradition that people have come to believe that they can elevate themselves by tearing someone else down. Sometimes it’s just a kind of meanness born from a tedious life and which gets satisfaction from attempting to cause injury, as is the case with Torus. I am not responsible for nothing manifesting out of his existence. Still, if he can diminish my accomplishments, whatever they may actually be, he is able to console himself. I’ve encountered some number of people, who at a certain point, just get mean and nasty. After awhile it becomes fixed.
I could have handled Lizzie differently but… spurning is spurning and that also goes to the core of how people identify with themselves. There’s only one of me. I’m not a bag of mints that can just be handed out to one and all. There are limits to the roles I can play in a particular theater. The price of fame, even in a small way, as is the case with me, is that you attract many varieties of attention and you have to skillfully juggle the way you handle these things, unless you’re low end reprobate. I have to process a great many requests every day. I can’t be consistently at top form all the time so, no doubt I make mistakes as I go. I may be sorry for them but that doesn’t change what has already occurred.
I try my damnedest every day to bring my A game. Some people like more serene postings from me. A lot of people prefer the sturm und drang; texted fireworks, to meet the passion and outrage in their own hearts. I try to deliver both and invariably, at some point, disappoint both …because I cannot be all things to all people at all times. The reader might have some idea what my day is like but I suspect, not really. It’s going on from the time I get up, around 7:00 AM, until I go to bed somewhere around midnight and often beyond. Even so, I can’t get things done in a timely fashion. I am constantly drawn back to consider and work on Neil’s book and my own book and recording projects. As the communications with others has grown, via emails and whatever, the amount of time consumed has grown as well.
I thought it might be a nice idea to have a short TV or radio show. I used to be on TV for an hour and a half every week in New York. It was pretty funny stuff but… my funny doesn’t seem to fly around here. People take me stone cold literally a lot of the time and it causes confusion. I’m just trying to lighten things up. I see my job here to encourage and reassure people, especially in these times. Now here I am looking at yet one more way to do that, after having gone on about how little time I have. I think I’m going to drop back into an every other day cycle now and maybe every three days or something… to give me more latitude in the spectrum.
A part of me feels bad that I didn’t handle certain very annoying people with kid gloves most of the time but I long ago realized that none of this makes any difference. There are people who will hate you for your exposure alone and if you have a bunch of people saying nice things about you, Man! That really gets their back up. Envy, jealousy, vanity, these are all odious things that no sane person would want any part of but… these days, the preponderance of us are not sane. In a superficial and materially focused world, Vanity achieves a God-like status. It may stink like a corpse but some people don’t seem to notice and will wear it like a mink coat (in Miami in the summer).
I know over recent times that I have alienated some portion of the readership. They still come around every day. They just don’t say anything because it would be embarrassing for them to have to admit they come around every day. I know they do though, because we have various tracking abilities and… should it be necessary, the redoubtable Sim, is an expert at certain things. I caused these alienations on purpose and I warned everyone ahead of time. This was necessary for me to avoid winding up like so many compromised people, who find themselves catering, writing to type, becoming self important and believing their own hype. I was compelled to weed out some number of people, by acting as a normal and sometimes abnormal human being; to establish myself as just that. People who are attracted to the surface of appearances, will hurt you down the road, if you’re not careful. You don’t, or shouldn’t, want people operating under illusions about you that you are then forced to sustain.
Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do and my reasons, however unsuccessful I might be at it, is to get at the truth and also to be as seriously helpful as I can, behind the scenes where a lot of my real work actually takes place. I know there are a large number of readers who are aware of this because the interactions have taken place. No, I’m not perfect, nor do I try to pass myself off as such. I’m just some guy trying to do his very best and not always being successful at it. Sometimes I fall down or bump into things but I always pick myself back up, or say “excuse me” and head onward again, with an even greater determination not to make the same mistake later on. Without a doubt there are cynical minds out there who think this is all self serving …but every word here is true and I don’t quite get the self-serving aspect, given that I work for free, have free advertising of people I believe in and work for free in the ever increasing email modality, plus giving away my books and music to people who can’t afford them; like I can, uh huh.. Meanwhile, I seldom ever respond to all the nice comments I get …because they are more properly directed toward the one I work for and that is an inflexible position on my part. So, where the presumed payoff for me is, I can’t hazard a guess.
Anyway, sorry to take up the posting space with this sort of thing today but one of my signature dishes is to treat with what is going on at the moment. These are very weird times. I had a couple of people that I thought myself close to; one at a distance and one who actually lives within a few K of me. Without anything and I mean ANYTHING happening, they just wrote me off, not even having an explanation for it. I miss my friend, who lives in the area because he is a bright and articulate fellow and we have gone on many jaunts into Nature and far afield in this country. The last thing I had heard from him was that he was looking forward to seeing me. There was no following interaction, except when I, by accident, dialed his number that was next to the number I was trying to dial; surely a divine accident …because I didn’t even know that we had his number. Up until then, I thought he was dead or suffering from something and he was on my mind every day. I was so glad that he was okay that I didn’t even mind the mysterious circumstances of where we now find ourselves. I’m guessing he got ‘reached’ somehow. Luckily, for me, I can put near anything aside and hardly give it a thought again further up the road. In the other case, someone wound me up to a particular end and that looks like some kind of intelligence work. I’m becoming increasingly observant and aware of the propensity for this. There is an army of Blue Meanies out there (grin).
Alright, we have come to the end of another posting …and we will see you in the next one, if there is one. I’ll also try to get some kind of a radio broadcast together for midweek as my computer guy just called me and told me everything works and is ready and I didn’t even lose my operating system. Thank god for that as I had all kinds of creative efforts on my desktop and not backed up; fool that I am.
I truly am sorry for not meeting all these different expectations. I would if I could, depending on what they are, of course (grin). I find myself now having to leave my long time living situation, simply because of what I do and say here …and the specter of apprehension it causes, in a certain political climate. I’m forced to migrate because of what I am doing for free as a public service. Is that fair? That’s life (cue Old Blue Eyes). I’m not regretful of this but I will tell you, the truth is an unwelcome guest most of the time. I will try to be a better person and more effective at whatever this all is. I expect that one day, I’ll have it together but… that is not likely to be today. My love to you all.