Refinding Femininity Saved My Family

by Rachel – ( March 6, 2013

(Rachel begins by relating her job experience in response to Workplace Doesn’t Work for Women )
I prefer to stay home with my two girls. I have had a few jobs, mostly before the girls came along, and all of them I hated. There was an underlying current of jealousy and anger between all the women that I could not handle.
I would be physically sick at night’s end after dealing with the angry single/divorced women who would literally attack me for the smallest things. I now realize that they enjoyed cutting me down at every turn because they were jealous of my beauty, youth, and dedication to my boyfriend (he’s now my husband and the father of our two girls).
I also refused to flirt with customers or dress revealingly to earn more tips. They were rude when they found out I had only ever dated or been with my boyfriend – they couldn’t understand it. I’ve since learned most women either shun you or call you a liar when you tell them you’ve only been with one man. A bartender (in her late 40’s, divorced) came up to me while I was taking an order, and started verbally assaulting me in front of my customers! I left that night in tears and never went back.
The only job I enjoyed (and still do occasionally) was cleaning houses with my mother-in-law. It was good money, ($20 an hour, cash) and there was no conflict with other women, because it was always just us. My mother-in-law is closer to me then my own mother. Some women don’t chase their bosses – I never did, but I rarely meet women who are like me!
I’ve found the man who holds my heart, and no other would compare, so I don’t even look. I do know women who have slept with their boss, and they melt into weepy puddles of indignation and anger when they realize that they get no preferential treatment. They usually quit soon after.
I was always dedicated to my husband, but I had an outer feminist shell I didn’t even realize was there until I started reading your columns, Henry!


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