Lord, Lord, I’m Leaving Dumb-Ass City

Reflections in a Petri Dish – Sept 28, 2012

Dog Poet Transmitting…….
May your noses always be cold and wet.
It’s great to be cutting edge. I know I like the feeling (grin). Michael is one of the shining knights of our time. He’s a fearless warrior and, if you’re going to be a warrior, it’s good to be fearless. That doesn’t mean incautious. Brave and Stupid don’t go together. One of them is likely to get the other one killed. Well, you know how it goes, or you don’t know how it goes and one is an asset and the other is a liability. Nitshitforbrainsyahoo doesn’t know when to quit. He’s the Energizer Weasel. One crazy person by himself can appear to be crazy, but when you get a good number of crazy people together, like in a certain crime syndicate of a nation, in the Middle East, they don’t look crazy for some reason. I mean they certainly look crazy to me …but that’s me. Maybe it has something to do with being crazy yourself. Then, nutjobs can appear to be sane. If you’re surrounded by crazy shit, like bad food, a wacko medical establishment, a corrupt legal system and leaders that could headline at a Looney Tunes, cartoon festival …and you throw in regular and routine exposure, over a period of time, it could look sane but… it’s not.
♫Oh yeah, we’re going to Dumb-Ass City, Lord, Lord you know it ain’t so pretty. The whole town hits you up side the head, makes you feel like worse than dead, not dead, just stupid. Not dead, just stupid♫ Don’t ask me where that came from or what the relevance is. I don’t know nuthin about pedigree, cause I’m a mutt, or Jeff maybe. You can just see these gigantic fuckheads imploding on stage. To me, it is blindingly evident. I have to chuckle on occasion, when I can get it up. I have no fear and you would think I would have some. Some part of me knows things that rest of me is unaware of. Unfortunately, it is not easy to access that part of myself, because the part accessing it (seeking to access it) is unaware of it’s existence and location. Meanwhile I’m watching “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”. It’s a hoot. It’s things like that, that make me assured that there is meaning and even beauty in life.
I need for life to have beauty and meaning and I have some truly beautiful and meaningful people in my life. My companion returned from the south last night; had been gone for two and a half weeks. I don’t think we’ve ever had a series of hours that hit this level before. Serendipity and her sisters did an overnighter. As difficult as things have been, there is an increasing number of rainbows, without rain. How can you get rainbows without rain, besides standing in front of an oil slick? I think it has something to do with working in mysterious ways. Life’s a mystery thought anyway, isn’t it? We’re so crisp and clear and certain sometimes, about having life figured out but we don’t or we wouldn’t still be here, if, that is… if we are here. Where’s here? I see all kinds of takes and interpretation on ‘here’ and most of the time, ‘here’ sounds like ‘there’. But that’s neither here nor there, is it (grin)? Well of course it is, I’m just making a pun.
So, I look at these dark reptilian fucks, like David Rockefeller and Natty, Nat Rothschild and I see something that tells me they were born this way. They were total shits, from the cradle down. I say ‘down’ because that would be richtung. I look at New York City and I have lived there for periods of time and, like any city it has it’s own sense of normalcy but it’s not normal at all. What it has, is a certain consistency, with a factored in uncertainty, that accounts for excitement, because of the unpredictability. Don’t get me started. To live in New York City, in this time period, is insane. One thing I will say about New York City, is that you can get anything you want, including things you never heard about, delivered to your door in a pink tutu, if you have the jack. Well, that’s Jack City. That’s hijack, lowjack, ‘oxygen is crack’ city.. Some people think they have a choice between stoned and stupid. You don’t. You do have a choice between high and stupid, cause stupid is low to the ground. You catching my drift? Am I drifting or ♫slip sliding away♫? Well, we are talking about that even if we haven’t mentioned it yet. So, I’m watching, “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”. The thing I notice, is the incredible cognitive dissonance and people even admit to it. I’m thinking stoned AND stupid.
The last two days, I had a big side of steamed spinach and a couple of prime time zuckermals. That would be sweet corn and then I had a small salmon steak, with garlic and onions. That’s how I like to eat. When I think about a woman in my life, I think about a fairy tale princess, with a mind and a big heart. I don’t think about a slut, lathered in makeup …and dressed in some kind of vampire getup, who’s got a tattoo across her spine, so that I will have something to read, while I do that perfunctory thing; accent on funk. When I think of books and entertainment, I think of the great writers who have gone before. I think of Merchant and Ivory. I don’t love myself very much but I am trying to learn how to do that.
I look at this screwed up world and I look at myself and I am not as screwed up as this world. I can get away with things that I have never seen anyone else get away with, health wise, for one simple reason, ‘those who love much are forgiven much’. I look at this screwed up world and I say to myself, “this is madness” but then that thing happens, like when you are watching network TV? Your first impression is that this might be the dumbest shit you have ever seen in your life and then, a few minutes later, you are sucked into it and there is no objective position. This is how the reptiles get away with what they do. Think about it. The other reason that I think I am allowed such fortuitous continuance, is that I can forgive. I forgive very easily. I find that a lot of other people, people who think they are all conscious and read all the books and go through the motions, of whatever spiritual practice they get into, like it was a floor demonstration model, …they can’t forgive. Sometimes, there wasn’t even an injury, just a misperception but… REAL… …freaks people out. People don’t want real.
When I was in my early twenties, I lived with Michael Green, in a teepee, way up into the mountains. You had to walk 3 miles to get there. We used to get up on a winter’s morning and go down to the stream and bathe before dawn. Then we would come back and chant or pray and later eat a Bannock. That was as good as life has ever been for me. God, how I wish I was back there. I should have never moved onward. I did move onward for exactly the reason that brings me before you today. I wanted to transmit that feeling to the rest of the world, even though I had to leave it to do it. Life is filled with irony. I suckle at the teats of irony because I know that dead babies don’t grow on trees and it takes a strong man to bring a camel to his knees. ♫midnight up in your anus, take your camel to bed♫ Are you sticking your nose under the tent again? Don’t make me come down there!
Nitshitforbrainsyahoo is a madman. All the myths that his failed state is based on, well, don’t ask, don’t tell. Ahmadinejad seems truly sane. He seems like an humble, measured and circumnavigating individual. He seems like a man of the people, who loves his country. Putin seems like that to me. Chavez seems like that to me, Fidel Castro seems like that to me, ♫and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for♫ That was before Bono sucked the devil’s dick in Hell. Yeah, he and The Edge bought up all this pricey LA real estate and now they are land developers. I just want to be a human being. I don’t care about the money or the things and maybe that is my problem. It doesn’t stick to me. Am I a dillweed, stoned or stupid or crazy like a fox? What the Hell is a dillweed?
I can’t walk your road for you people. I can’t bring you to the mountain because the mountain is different for each one of us. The cosmos loves the singularity of the human estate. That is why no two snowflakes are the same. You can’t say that about grains of sand though. Are you getting me? Am I coming through? I am reaching out to you. It is what I do. Sure, that’s probably a crazy thing. I know I’m mentally ill, but I prefer to see it as a kind of detachment, that allows me to see from enough distance, that objectivity can come into play and I do love to play. I want to play with you. I want to rest my head in the crook of your arm and while you think you are comforting me, I will be comforting you. That’s how it works. Don’t you want to shine like the sun? C’mon, you know you do. You want to live life to the fullest, no matter how much fear might fuck with you. You want to be at Casa Amitabha. You want to work all day and still be filled with energy because that is the essential righteousness of the equation. I’ve been there and I’ve seen it.
There is time and world enough for us to be able to say, “alles in ordnung”. We are not beasts. We are heirs to something we can’t see and are only dimly aware of the existence of. We know these things in our DNA. We are something else …but we have opted for everything else. We are the people that might have been, we should have gotten in touch with us then. You know that what I am saying is the genuine article. I need to sit by the fireplace with you. I need to cook for you and fluff your pillow. I need to love you and be able to say that without reservation or shame. I need to be able to stand naked and be fully clothed, in that desired armor. I need to touch you and hold your hand because… because you complete me.
End Transmission…….

Visible narrates: Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock