Reflections in a Petri Dish – August 5, 2012
Dog Poet Dumping…….
May your noses always be out of other people’s business.
I did not want to write a post today. I intended to do a radio broadcast instead but apparently I need to write a post, given the reaction to yesterday’s posting. Interestingly, my Facebook readers were supportive without exception; not so here. That’s a phenomena that needs mention. The people who go to Facebook stay on Facebook and comment on Facebook and do not comment at the blogs itself and the reverse is true. I can’t think of any exceptions. Weird eh?
I am quite frequently stunned by the degree to which some people can misinterpret simple statements and also, adding insult to injury, make all kinds of additions to what I said and not realize that they are doing it. Of course if they do realize they are doing it, that’s psy-ops. One thing I don’t discuss here are some of the people who have communicated with me, as a result of having come across these blogs. There are a couple of surprising names that anyone would recognize. One of them actually comments under an assumed name. It’s not only the occasional appearance of this kind of person but I also hear from people connected to government and other areas of endeavor. I’m not going to get into any detail about any of this and I bring it up for a specific reason. I was fairly recently contacted by someone, who is in a position to know, about psy-ops activity directed at me. I was told that people would come along and ingratiate themselves with me. They would let themselves get known by other readers and then, after a certain amount of time, turn on me and try to wind me up. I had seen some evidence of this in times past and dealt with it. However, this fellow told me that this was now an official policy in respect of certain websites and blogs and that I, most definitely, made the list. So, I ask the readers to keep their eyes open and note peculiarities and things that stand out as being very much out of character in terms of character development.
Okay, that said… let me repeat myself, I am quite frequently stunned by some people’s ability to draw seriously wrong conclusions from what, to me, seems to be very simple and easily understood statements. Now, of course, I don’t expect everyone to agree with me concerning some of the things I say. That is neither desired nor expected and it also results in some entertaining dialogue between the readers and each other and the readers and myself and it’s one of the reasons people come here because they are free to express their opinions and to disagree with me and it makes it a fun place to come to, which is all I ever hoped for out of these efforts.
I remember when I first started to blog with Visible Origami. I had a few readers due to having been formerly a poster at The Best of the Fray at Slate. That was not a pleasant place for me and overly represented by members of a particular demographic that I don’t think I need to identify. You’re familiar with some of the things I say, so you can imagine how that went over. When I was awarded a star (a big deal there), there was a burst of enthusiasm and support from some amount of the other residents and another burst of anger and outrage from other quarters. So, when I started Origami, I had a few visitors and I used to say to myself, “If I can just get a couple of hundred people to come around for this I will be very pleased”. It’s gone far beyond that. The creation of Smoking Mirrors drew in that much larger majority, who are not particularly attracted to Visible Origami, which is much more how I am inside than Smoking Mirrors. People, for the most part, prefer the things of the world to the things of invisible dimensions. That’s just how it is. I created those other blogs to draw people to Visible Origami but it continues to appeal to that 10% for whom those things are important.
Yesterday I said that heart-throb boy missed a golden opportunity, to show a major amount of class but instead cut off pinup girl completely and won’t communicate with her in any fashion. I tried to point out that she is only 22 years old and arguably one of the most desired women in the world. I tried to point out that people make mistakes and if you love them you have to forgive them, or you never loved them at all. What you loved was possessing such a desirable item because it made you look good and be the envy of so many millions of other men. That is why your ego and vanity were so terribly injured.
I recognize the right to be hurt by what happened. I completely understand that and wasn’t seeking to diminish the person for that aspect of their response. Many people would have felt the same way; betrayed, made a fool of, manhood challenged, especially manhood heavily amplified by celebrity. I tried not to get much into this person’s lack of convincing acting skills, or the soda pop quality of the Twilight series, which is nothing more than a jumped up network TV show of the Buffy Vampire Slayer variety. That’s not important and didn’t influence what I had to say. I just looked at what happened and my first thought was how unfortunate and regrettable that this occurred. That’s one of the costs of celebrity and it comes with the territory and those shit flies that nose around these people’s lives, looking for anything that might make them money and give them some celebrity too, can be nasty and vicious to an alarming degree. Everybody should see the movie, Meet the Feebles, for the way it portrays certain personalities that feed off of these people. It’s a truly brilliant, hilarious and shocking film; unique, like Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which is pure genius. Around this house it is not unusual for someone to start singing one of the songs from that movie …but, I digress.
I recognize that most people don’t feel the way I do about unconditional love, nor do most people pursue it with the same enthusiasm. For me, though, possessing something or seeking to possess it, means exercising it and practicing it. It has no value otherwise. People like to talk about higher concepts and states of being. They are much less likely to practice them because of the sacrifice that these things entail. They also bring a responsibility to embrace and live these things, regardless of the threat to life, limb and reputation. There is a whole world between what people say and what people do. Talk is cheap and easy. Actions are another thing entirely.
I truly want to possess unconditional love. I know the value of it. I want to possess all of the virtues, like forgiveness, compassion, integrity and sundry. I very easily forgive people, even when they are incapable of forgiving me, as I not so long ago experienced. Interestingly it wasn’t anything I actually did but the fear of what never happened and never would have happened. So, if I had been heart-throb boy, I would have taken that golden opportunity to shine, to sincerely shine. Quite simply, it is what I would have done. I might have been hurt but then again, if it were actually me, probably not. I am viscerally aware of the frailty of people and their vulnerability to the temptations that get set in their way. One of my favorite sayings is, “There but for fortune goes you and I”.
I had a really interesting talk with my companion today. We are in full accord about what I had to say yesterday. Now, I have been with this person for almost 13 years and nothing like what was discussed yesterday has happened, even though we are genuinely free to do as we like. When people meet and that special chemistry goes off between them, it makes them feel free. It is liberating. That is one of the chief qualities of love that makes it such a desirable experience. What people do, all too soon, is to then get attached to the other person and seek to control them and regulate their behavior and the liberty and freedom goes away. I’ve seen it happen over and over. I won’t let that happen to me. I don’t want a jail warden for a partner. I don’t want to live inside the lines of somebody elses idea of who I am and who I am supposed to be. As a result, I have a very good friend, whose company I really enjoy. I have someone who is free to live their own life, have their own friends, come and go as they please and I never ask about any of it. When she wants to go off on an excursion with an old boyfriend for a couple of weeks, I don’t mind in the slightest. When this person comes around and who really dislikes me, I get out of the way and behave in a very civil manner and endeavor to be a gracious host. Nothing untoward is going on there but that’s beside the point.
This morning I went to post the comments for yesterday’s Smoking Mirrors and found people ranting about feminism, as if that has anything to do with the situation, which it doesn’t. People have been routinely unfaithful all through the centuries. Someone called Kirsten Stewart a cunt, also pointing out to me that heart-throb boy is a musician. I have no idea what that has to do with anything. I was also accused of being sexually attracted to Stewart. I had a dream about her some months ago. It wasn’t an erotic smorgasbord, though there was a sense of genuine affection. I only mentioned it once but apparently, unbeknownst to me, I have been having numerous dreams about her and mentioning it all the time …and… my geriatric status was pointed out to me, which is also amusing because anyone who spends any time around me knows I exhibit none of those things and can be any age. Several times in recent years, people have guessed my age at 35 to 45. I’m not able to lie here because people who know me and these situations read these posts. At the recent concert, where this woman groped me, which was witnessed by someone who had come with me, she kept asking me how old I was and I know why that was. Aging is an illusion. In Japan there are men in their 80′s, who dance around like they are in their 20′s, due to certain lifetime disciplines, as well as a particular mindset. I knew a man who was over a hundred years old who didn’t have a line on his face. I’ve met people in their 20′s and 30′s who are decrepit and besieged by all sorts of maladies. I’ve met women in their 20′s that look like they are 50. You see a lot of that in Hawaii and I have met women in their 50′s who look ever so much younger than that. Aging is an illusion and those who believe in it are welcome to it. I don’t.
The most surprising thing to me around here is when people add all kinds of things to what I said, or draw astonishing conclusions that I gave no indication of intending. I was trying to make a particular point and unfortunately, that point makes people angry. It doesn’t change my position in any case. If I love somebody, I love them. If they get into trouble or need help, I have several times quit my job and gone thousands of miles to be with them. To me that is the most natural thing in the world. I wouldn’t do it now because I have no intention of going to Police State Central again. Anyway, friendship means a great deal to me. There is little I would not do for a friend and I know who my friends are and I know there are people who think I’m their friend but I am not. Any of us can see deeply into other people if we look deeply into ourselves. There are some truly surprising abilities that anyone could possess if they just allowed for them to be operative within them.
Kirsten Stewart is just some person out there. I have no feelings for her one way or the other, except that she is a human being and I am generally affectionate with human beings, unless they give me good cause not to be. Heart-Throb boy is just one of a whole lot of Heart-Throb boys and I wish him well. I wish most people well, except for those who don’t wish others well and set about showing it in egregious fashion.
I in no way promote or celebrate infidelity. I know how badly people get hurt by it but I am not going to let the limitations that surround me become a part of me. I’ve spent my life getting rid of things and hopefully by the time I decide to go, there won’t be much left and what there is will be those cherished possessions of mine, which are a part of me and the only things you take with you when you go. Have a nice day.
Song: ♫Love is Bound♫