Borderline Personality, 42, says, “I am a Child”

Rosie – July 14, 2012

The main reason I want to tell my story is that people with Borderline Personality Disorder get a bad rap.
I believe that if more people understood things from the Borderline’s perspective, it would make things so much easier for everyone involved.
My dad left before I was old enough to remember him and my mom died a month before my 11 birthday. I recently realized in therapy that I was indeed molested by a caretaker around the age of four.
I knew something had happened with a particular person. But it was not until I explained to my therapist about the sexual things I was doing shortly after that, that my suspicions were confirmed.
She said, the things I was doing was not age appropriate. I remember the very day that I said, my mother would always be there. So when she died, I felt so alone and angry at her for leaving me.
I am 42 years old and still searching for her in anyone who shows me the slightest amount of caring.
There is a famous book about Borderline called, “I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me.” This title says a lot. The abuse started while my mother was fighting for her life with cancer. It continued by various people throughout my childhood into young adulthood.
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