Voice of the White House January 9, 2006

“I could probably send you an article, complete with nice pictures, of the President having sexual encounters with fat, wheezing Dick Cheney, Congoleeza Rice in a leather jump suit or his dog, Barney, and no one would either look at it or care.

I look at the Internet (it’s part of my job) on a daily basis and there is enough concrete and believable material on it to cause a concerned Congress to immediately vote a Bill of Impeachment against the President.

They will not, unless and until they realize that the American public is growing increasingly and vocally restive about the perceived incompetence and utter corruption within the White House and the upper levels of the Republican administration, they will do nothing but make sure their Swiss bank accounts are safe and the bags and envelopes full of bribe money are still in their office safes.
This I can tell you, that Congress, specifically the Republicans, are becoming genuinely fearful lest they all be voted out of office come November. One Senator, a bug-eyed religious ninny, has even suggested, in my hearing, that Bush ought to fabricate a ”National Emergency”, call out the military because of fictional “terrorist attacks” and save Congress for the Jesus-Christ loving Republican Senators!

Of course such lunatic schemes will come to nothing and would, if promulgated, lead directly to civil war, like the big one now raging in Iraq (that our media is not going to talk about…they would rather shed crocodile tears about fat, nasty old Sharon’s joyful departure from the scene) so we can basically forget about a fascist putsch. The weird Zell Miller weeps in frustration, no doubt.

The other, and best, solution for Republicans, eager to keep their seats and the unlimited opportunities for escalating graft and corruption, is to find someone harmless, make a huge fuss about them and go after them with much shouting, finger-waving and faked outrage, thus deflecting the attention of the public (so easily and often done with the cooperation of a slavish media) and once the sacrificial ram has had his throat cut by a self-righteous Congress, reelection will be so much easier. Who knows? Perhaps they might fix on George W. Bush for this purpose. A consummation devoutly to be wished indeed.!”

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