Voice of the White House June 9, 2005

“This will be in a slightly different format than before. News from the CIA: Just before the DNC resigned (under pressure) he issued an order to delete over 200 secret files from the data bases at the CIA. These consisted of CIA reports, the publication of which would cause serious damage to Bush. Tenent’s reward? The nice Medal of Freedom.

News from the White House: Recent revelations about Gannon are going to cause a great purge of gays from the White House staff. 35 are slated to be dumped. There was a similar, and like this one, strictly private, purge during the Clinton Administration and the Reagan one. These people get very bold and bring their lovers into the Monkey Palace for fun and games.

News from the FBI: Both the Bureau and the DHS are growing increasingly frustrated. Vague and phantom threats against US security are of such a nature as to make enforcement of all the nice new Nazi-style laws impossible to execute. The solution? Grab anyone with an Arab surname and accuse them of being a member of a terrorist cell. After they have spent a year in the slammer, courtesy of the Patriot Act, the poor shits will say anything to get out. Result? Another great “anti-terrorist” victory for the draggers of knuckles.

News from the DoS. Empress Rice is boiling mad because the OAS has summarily rejected her demands to permit the US to set up an “advisory board” to oversee and control political progress in Central and South America. Private comments among diplomats, monitored by the NSA, indicate that the opinion of Queen Condoleeza and Queen George are lower than whale droppings. General comments: The Bush people want a draft. They are also alarmed about the number of serious death threats pouring into the Chimpanzee Mansion and so are drawing up plans for an “exercise” in martial law. This will consist of sending loyal troops (there are some units that are certainly not loyal and Bush feels cannot be trusted in case of any kind of public “disobedience.”) as well as iron control over the internet. There will be a “practice” shutting down of the non-business sector of the internet for a brief time, just to show people that Uncle Asshole means business and also to test the shut down system. Also, there is juice boiling in Congressional tails over the growing interest in and concerns about the huge genuine death and injury tolls that our Pentagon is sweeping under the rug. Mid-terms elections are coming and the natives are becoming very restless. More and more evangelicals are writing to the Chimp Palace, protesting the war, the gay connections, the slipping economy and Bush’s dismal failure to stop stem cell research, promulgate the Ten Commandments as a replacement for our Constitution and the general growing perception that Curious George is a fraud and a sham.

Medical report: Two of my friends here tell me that in the middle of a small meeting last week, Bush suddenly stopped talking, his jaw dropped down and he began to stare at nothing. About the time his listeners were about to shout for a medic, he blinked, shook his head and began talking…about something not on the agenda. His dog was part of the mindless babble. We all pray that he does this live on CNN or better, FOX. George does not wear suits well being bowlegged and slightly humpbacked but he would look so wonderful in a straight jacket! On the 6 PM news at that!”

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