Voice of the White House June 2, 2005

“Just for the sake of accuracy, I am going to fill you in on how Gannon was discovered. It is absolutely not the self-lauding material now puffing up the internet but life is tough.

It seems that a junior grade member of the Secret Service’s President Detail noticed, by checking the logs, that Gannon was loose in the White House at various times, not during any press conferences. As there is strict protocol for such matters, he made notes and submitted them to a higher official in the same detail. This person made enquiries further up the ladder and eventually, it got to Andrew Card, the President’s Chief of Staff. Card, apparently, then asked questions of others with the result that the Detail people were informed that Gannon was, in essence, an FOG (“Friend of George) and his presence at odd hours inside the White House was “OK.”

At the same time, the brass wanted to know who initiated this request but the SS section head said that he had received an anonymous request and he was merely acting on it. I must tell you that very few people, myself not included, had any knowledge of this funny business at the time. The Monkey Palace is huge and full of people, night and day and I personally cannot remember ever seeing Gannon at any time and neither can most of the daytime people I know.

At any rate, simultaneously with this inquiry, it seems that a gay Beltway Democrat, who had seen the “Bulldog” male prostitution site, informed a friend on the District police force who, in turn, asked the White House people. This meant that the story was now out of official control and it was decided to, at the least, “retire” Gannon until the story blew over or did not get legs. This clearly explains that why, on his website, Gannon claims he is only “on leave” from the White House Press Room.

However, the gay Democrat, or perhaps a local cop, began to send copies of the “Bulldog” nude websites around to members of the mainline media (which predictably did not do a damned thing about it nor make any inquiries at the White House) as well as to a large number of internet people. A subsequent investigation by the Secret Service disclosed that a District official computer was used to spread the fertilizer all over the country but no one can be pinpointed as the sender.

Following this effort, Gannon was informed that he had to go, gracefully, at least for a time, and then the so-called “blogs” took credit for this. A very gay, but very much closeted, blogger knew all about Gannon from having often visited his several male porn sites, squealed with delight at the chance to beat his old drum, and we then saw a great outpouring of accusatory emails from every side.
While the “bloggers” have been taking full credit for “outing” Gannon, in truth they just ran with something someone else sent them and have been crowing about it ever since. Very much like Woodward getting some inside gossip from Felt and then heavily embroidering it with his own self-serving (and very profitable) creations out of whole cloth.

This has really become a dead issue. Gannon is gone, the mainline media is keeping their mouths tightly shut about this, as usual, and you should know that my own digging into Gannon/Guckert’s background, which you published at TBR, was the most complete yet done.

The silly “bloggers” are now running around like a hyper Pomeranian, yapping frantically over a very long-dead cat on the back porch that is now rotting in the sun. Whoever got this out initially, and it was not the bloggers , did terrible damage to the basic fabric of the self-righteous Bush people but now it is no longer of any interest, unless and until the outraged Gannon decides to publish his “confidential journals.” His funeral would not be very well attended. …… And now that the mythic ‘Deep Throat’ turns out to be a jealous and spiteful senior FBI executive, we can well imagine that within weeks, the busy bloggers will put forth as many manic theories about who ‘Deep Throat’ really was as they have hairs on their head. I can just see the “Bloggerblitz” headlines screaming that ‘Kidnapped Paperboy Johnny Gosch was actually Deep Throat!’ Or that the sinister Illuminati, whom we all know run the USPS can claim the honors. This ought to keep them busy until the next opportunity comes along to let everyone in the entire world know what they and their cousin Edna really think about the secret plots of the Bilderburgers and the Hidden Hand.

The solution to all this proliferating and obnoxious idiocy? Take a Midol, honey, and spend more time trying to have a dialog with Jesus than bothering the rest of the sane population.

Many readers think I am homophobic because I use strong language when talking about the lying perverts in the Bush Administration. This is not true – what offends me is not someone’s sexual orientation, but their lying about it and then attacking innocent people who never did anything to anyone, just to cover their own sorry asses. I call those sorts of people fudgepackers because of the evil filth of their minds, not because of their activities. Bush is one small step from being the Antichrist, but shovels the shit like a pro, assuming a mantle of holiness and righteousness that has about half the American public fooled.

I have been told that correspondents to TBR News have expressed surprise at my “inside” knowledge of the gay scene in DC. One of the underlings here in the Fag Palace who happens to be gay is a confidant of mine. He knows I respect him, and we discuss the goings-on upstairs – he is my source for commentary and background on the gay community in DC, including the escapades of Fat Karl at the Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend, the secret love-life of Kenny Mehlman, Scotty M the loyal Irish Terrier, Bulldog Gannon, and of course, POTUS him/herself. I respect the accuracy of his Gaydar – he has a sixth sense about these things, and can spot another one like himself a mile away.

Here’s the scoop: He tells me that The Hammer, Tom DeLay, sets all his alarm bells a-jingling. He told me, in his own words: “Just look at the way she walks, the angle she holds her head when she speaks, her hand gestures, the movement of her eyes – God, what a flaming queen!”

He went on, “Sister Tom DeLilah is a Friend of Dorothy, no doubt about it. She may not even know about it herself, but I swear, what his dick craves more than anything is a good shag with a real man…….

“You know, the dick has a brain of its own, you can pretend to yourself and others all you like, but you put a queer in the room with a hot man and his dick will do its own thing, no matter how many prayers he prays to Jesus. That’s probably why Tom DeLay hates us faggots so much – we cause his dick to betray his righteous Christian bullshit, and he despises himself for it. He probably wears Spandex underpants to keep it down.”

Well, well! There is an old African saying to do with the fact that many Africans have ample behinds: “It takes a big Hammer to drive a long Nail.” Let us add to that one an even more apt Japanese saying: “The Nail that sticks up gets Hammered down,” and we may have an inkling of a possibility which we never suspected: Tom DeLay, the man’s man, is really Tammy DeLilah, the Closet Queen. Remember, folks, you heard it here first. When this all breaks in the MSM, on the day the business interests decide to dispose of Bush and replace him with someone else, please join with me in singing a hymn for Miss DeLilah: “Hey Sinner Man, where you gonna run to, all on that day?

And what other things can we hang on the Sinner come to Judgment? He has: Paid family members more than $500,000 out of campaign contributions, diverted funds from a children’s charity for lavish celebrations at the Republican convention, used corporate money given to his PAC to finance Texas campaigns in violation of state law, stacked the House Ethics Committee with representatives who have contributed to his legal defense fund, accepted trips from the lobbyist for a foreign government in violation of House rules, and accepted trips from corporations and later helped kill legislation they opposed. All of this and I’ll bet he looks gorgeous in mesh stockings and a real-human-hair wig, just like the one our Beloved President’s beloved Senegambian cross-dresser loves to wear!

See our Inside the White House archive: