Voice of the White House February 19, 2005

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“The internet anti-Bush people are completely right about the Karl Rove/Gannon love affair business. I have been repeatedly told by people on the inside that would know, that Rove, who is a closet queen, has had an affair with this creep (it’s all over now thanks to the heat generated by the alternate media. )Karl likes to be dominated and Gannon, an ageing weight lifter, likes to be around the seat of power…if you will forgive a terrible pun. Also, Fat Karl is the one, informed sources have repeatedly advised me, that leaked the name of Frau Wilson to Novak.

Fat Karl will now abandon his boyfriend with speed and the entire Baboon Palace will try to start newsworthy trouble somewhere else to keep the boobery interested. The Scott Peterson business is behind us so the bet is that Michael Jackson’s new problems will be integrated with horror stories about the Iranians torturing kittens (a la Bill Frist) and threatening to nuke Mother Israel next Monday.

Rove is a very capable specialist at this sort of jiggery-pokery but if these stories keep building and irate staffers continue to leak out nasty truths, Karl might have to take a new job as U.S. Ambassador in Bangkok. Of course if that happened, Bush would curl up and die right under his desk in the oval office. The removal of Fat Karl the Eunuch would be the de facto conclusion of George W. Bush’s awful career as a political figure.

Remember, folks, we elected George but we did not elect Fat Karl.

Ever since the days of the Blodgett whorehouse, operating out of the Reagan White House, things just haven’t been the same around the old Monkey Palace but Fat Karl is setting things right. Most of the professional staff there are entirely normal, if religious ninnies, but for the Elevated Few, things are different. They ought to wear green carnations on a daily basis.

Some malicious people have said that Bush is gay but I doubt it. George can’t get an erection, let alone perform sexually with anyone, unless he is stoned and since he is now Pure for Jesus, we can leave him out of the Oscar Wilde Society meetings in the old Map Room.

This is not going to go away and I can see it as a lovely vehicle for outing all kinds of the Beltway prominenten starting with one Supreme Court Justice, several governors (all Republican) and at least one very prominent televangelist.

I personally do not care what lesser lights do for fun, torture of animals and child abuse excluded, (poor Bill Frist!) but a public official has to be held to much higher standards and, by God, ought to be!

This whole sordid and perverted business reeks like a forgotten and rotting crab in your car trunk in July. Such hypocrites! Here the White House people are, piously sucking up to the Moral Majority idiots and pretending to be Jesus’ Representative on Earth, while prancing around the People’s House in drag like a bunch of ageing queens during Frantic Hour at a Georgetown bar!

I worked in the White House during some of the Reagan years and I can tell you for a fact that there was more action in dark closets and back offices than in all of the gay bars in Greenwich Village. None of this ever came near to Reagan who would have thrown up if he knew about the sticky floors and used condoms tossed out of White House windows, to decorate the bushes, but it certainly existed then and it exists now.

If these sleazy hypocrites were not so pious about morality and purity, I might just shrug and give them a pass as I did once before, but as I said, they talk out of one side of their mouths and do quite the opposite in the same dark closets and little-used rooms.

Frankly, they all should be tossed out of the windows like the used condoms the poor gardeners had to shove into trash bags. But it would be better if, instead of tossing them out of the White House windows, (it’s only two stories after all) they would be better tossed off the Empire State building. From the 60th floor.“

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