October 5 Today my life began. My parents do not know it yet. I am as small as the seed of an apple, but it is I already. And I am to be a girl. I shall have blonde hair and azure eyes. Just about everything is settled though. Even the fact that I shall love flowers.
October 19 I have grown a little, but I am still too small to do anything by myself. My mother does just about everything for me. And what is odd – she still doesn’t know that she is carrying me under her heart, and that she is helping me already, that she is even feeding me with her own blood. She is so good.
They say that I am not a real person yet, that only my mother exists. But I am a real person, just as a small crumb of bread is truly bread. She is so good.
October 23 My mouth is just beginning to open now. Just think, in a year or so I shall be laughing, and later talking. I know that my first word will be – mummy!
October 25 My heart began to beat today all by itself. From now on it shall gently beat for the rest of my life, without ever stopping to rest. And after many years it will tire. It will stop, and I shall die.
November 2 I am growing a bit every day. My arms and legs are beginning to take shape. But I have to wait a long time yet before those little legs raise me to my mother’s reaching arms, before those little arms will be able to gather flowers and hug my daddy.
November 12 Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. Funny how small they are. I shall be able to stroke my mummy’s hair with them. And I shall take her hair to my mouth and she will probably say, ‘oh, nasty!’.
November 20 It wasn’t until today that doctor told mum that I am living here under her heart. Oh, how happy she must be! Are you happy, mummy?
November 25 My mummy and daddy are probably thinking about a name for me. But they don’t even know that I am a little girl. They are probably saying Andy. But I want to be called Cathy. I am getting so big already.
December 10 My hair is growing. It is smooth and bright and shiny. I wonder what kind of hair mummy has?
December 13 I am just about able to see. It is dark around me. When mummy brings me into the world, it will be full of sunshine and flowers. I have never seen a flower, you know. But what I want more than anything to see is my mum. How do you look mum? I love you so much.
December 24 I wonder if mum hears the whispering beat of my living heart? Some children come into the world a little sick. And then the delicate hands of the doctor perform miracles to bring them back to health. But my heart is strong and healthy. It beats so evenly; tup-tup, tup-tup, tup-tup. You’ll have a healthy little daughter, mummy.
December 28 Today my mummy killed me!
by Michael Walsh who opposes abortion