Lasha Darkmoon – Darkmoon April 1, 2019
Will the only solution to end the Brexit fiasco be a firing squad?
According to the latest news from the BBC, culled 45 minutes ago, British MPs are to take their seats in Parliament later on today to vote on the Prime Minister’s Brexit proposals yet again. The BBC announces:
“The prime minister’s plans have been rejected on three occasions so far and the House of Commons is attempting to find a strategy that can gain majority support. A series of “indicative votes” on various options suggested by MPs was first held last week, on 27 March. None of MPs’ eight proposals secured a majority then, but those which received the most were a customs union with the EU and a referendum on any deal. Many of those eight options have returned for round two, but some have been replaced with new alternatives. Voting is expected to begin at 20:00 BST.”
For those who have doubts about the authenticity of our shocking report below, please check out the above quote on the BBC website, here. The 45-minute figure may have changed by the time you get round to clicking on the link, but the words will be there to reassure you that all appears to be going according to schedule.
According to the latest reports which have reached me, however, reports which appear to be more like unsubstantiated rumours if not irresponsible speculation of the worst kind, a major military coup is planned to take place at 22:00 BST precisely. The Prime Minister will be arrested in Parliament as she gets up to speak, with the full support of controversial Speaker of the House John Bercow, aided and abetted by 32 hardline Brexiters who are dissident members of the European Reserach Group (ERG) known as the “Spartans”.
The Prime Minister is to be charged with high treason, my sources indicate, for betraying the 17.4 millions British voters who voted for Brexit on 22 June 2016.
She will be led from the packed chamber in handcuffs for her own safety and security and not as a vindictive attempt to humiliate her. Britain’s top politician will then be driven in a bullet-proof Rolls Royce to Holloway Prison where special accommodation has been set aside for her in an isolated wing reserved for prisoners with Oxford educations and close links to Royalty and international grandees.
It is rumoured that the CIA and British Intelligence are aware of the imminent coup and that it has the full support of American President Donald Trump.
A caretaker government is to be installed under the semi-dictatorship of former UKIP leader Nigel Farrage, with Jacob Rees-Mogg offered the plum post of Chancellor.
The pound is expected to fall spectacularly, as much as 25 percent over the coming week, allowing American, Russian and Chinese speculators the unique opportunity of buying up huge chunks of exclusive property in Belgravia, Hampstead and the Home Counties. Dollar billionaires like Hungarian Jew George Soros are already preparing to make offers on various Royal Estates, though Buckingham Palace has been set aside as the Queen’s exclusive residence. The Palace is expected to go under the hammer at Sotheby’s, but only after the Queen’s death as a mark of respect to the beloved monarch.
Full details of the revolutionary plans for the immediate future remain amorphous and highly speculative at this stage, with much depending on the caprice of Donald Trump and his Zionist Jew supporters, especially his son-in-law Jared Kushner and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Without these powerful figures behind the coup, it could never have taken place, it is plausibly argued. Trump is reported to have said with his characteristic chutzpah: “I am the new Robespierre and Theresa May is my Marie Antoinette.”
As every reader knows, Marie Antoinette is the 18th century French queen who is said to have incensed the starving masses during the French Revolution by saying, “Let them eat cake!”
THERESA MAY: “Let them drink coke!”
TRUMP: “I am the new Robespierre
and Theresa May is my Marie Antoinette!”
Warning to reader: false quote alert!
Seems to be made up by evil satirist.
— § —
Unbelievable. But these are interesting times. Of one thing we can be certain: the unexpected always occurs, least of all when you don’t expect it.
My source at GCHQ, with whom I have been in constant contact for the last 24 hours, has outlined the following scenario for the 100 critical days ahead:
— A complete purge in Parliament; the mass arrest of anti-democratic MPs; the possibility of firing squads to deal with the numerous malefactors involved; the immediate reintroduction not only of capital punishment but also of corporal punishment for incompetent and anti-democratic MPs.
— A swift solution to the Northern Ireland backstop by the simple expedient of allowing the Irish to have their own country back in its entirety, not just half of it. The South of the country, now in Irish possession, will be reunited with Northern Ireland. A referendum will then be held in a United Ireland in November 2019 to determine if the Irish wish to remain part of Europe, or to shake off the shackles of the European superstate and seek full sovereignty and independence from unelected officials in Brussels.
— A full trade deal between the US and Britain, making it no longer necessary for Britain to go begging on bended knees for a trade deal with recalcitrant and uncooperative European autocrats. If necessary, a banning of all goods from Europe, or, failing that, very high tariffs. This would be seen as a condign punishment for the 27-state juggernaut, intent on flooding Europe with endless streams of immigrants posing as “refugees”.
A military source is quoted as saying: “We’re not going to let our country turn into an Afro-Asian colony. This is our country and we intend to keep it for our own people!”
Yes, tempers are running high. Very high indeed. I am myself fighting very hard to stay calm.
— § —
By the end of this year, President Trump is apparently thinking of offering Britain a unique Christmas present: the chance of becoming America’s 51st state. “Join up with us,” he is reported to have told Farrage. “All Brits will be offered American citizenship by early next year. The pound will cease to fall when it becomes the American dollar.”
Serious thought is now being given to these revolutionary proposals.
“Indeed, America’s beloved ally Israel is said to have offered its services in helping Britain to set up and run its transitional government, soon to morph into a new Anglo-American empire — Pax Angloamericana.”
There is only one stipulation on this conditional offer from Israel, a proud nation that has falsely been accused of spreading philosemitism and seeking world domination: Holocaust denial is to be made a capital crime immediately. “People who deny the Holocaust will be strangled to death by specially trained Public Stranglers,” Netanyahu is reported to have said. “We have hundreds of volunteers for the job already.”
I swear that every word written here, though possibly incorrect, has a very good chance of becoming true in the foreseeable future.
Written this day, anno domini, April 1, 2019.