And What About the Sperm?

Gilad Atzmon – January 14, 2011

The Jewish state has decided; we let you be a Jew as long as you are willing to kill for us.

The Knesset recently passed a bill allowing the State to approve IDF conversions without the permission of the Chief Rabbinate.

Apparently this law has been approved today by Shas’ spiritual leader Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, who has decided to legitimize all conversions performed in the Israel Defense Forces in recent years.

I guess that for some, it is much easier to become a Jew riding a Merkava Tank over a Palestinian village than learning Halakha law for seven years. 

Yet I am slightly confused. I also learned this week that  ‪‪Rabbi Dov Lior, another genius Talmud scholar,  announced that Jewish Law prohibits sterile couples from conceiving using non-Jew’s sperm, as it causes adverse traits. According to Rabbi  Lior, a baby born through such an insemination will have the “negative genetic traits that characterize non-Jews.”

Rabbi Lior indeed solved a lot of questions that have bothered me for years. All those Jewish outlaws such as mega swindler Bernie Madoff, war criminal Paul Wolfowitz, ethnic Cleanser David Ben Gurion, mass murderer Ehud Barak, you name it, must have been conceived from a gentile sperm. They better look for their real fathers.

And what about the sperm of the newly converted soldiers? Will it cure on the spot?  I guess that Tel Aviv university biology department will have to look closely into this question. The morality of future Jewish generations seems to be at high risk.


Gilad Atzmon, a former Israeli soldier now a writer and an award winning Jazz musician resident in London, where he lives in virtual exile