Visible Origami — June 3, 2017
Dog Poet Transmitting…….
I try to understand what makes people what they are and what makes them do what they do.. I cannot be more sincere than what you have just read. I have put a great deal of attention into the motivations of others besides myself; given that I even understand my own and, I believe, to some degree, I do. I believe also, up to a certain point we are a mystery to ourselves and… that is how it should be because, once that mystery is unlocked, we are no longer anything like what we imagined ourselves to be. Much of what we think about ourselves is imagined and no matter how finely tuned and precise our imagination may be, it falls short of that moment when we find ourselves face to face with God and acknowledge what that means. We cannot fail to acknowledge it when it happens but it would be pointless to try to explain the meaning of it. There are no words and never will be. It is the word itself. One in possession of it could unmake Heaven and Earth but that has never happened because only the most accomplished of evil among us can come close to that and that… that remains forever beyond their reach and ever shall.
I am a facile man, subtle when it suits the need but also a fool with a reckless edge that accounts for the part of being a fool. It is said that god takes care of drunks and fools. I only need the latter. There is a reason that god is fond of the two because a part of him bears portions of both by necessity to reflect his most ambitious project at their points of extremity. Bacchus and Dionysus are not accidents of metaphor or myth. They are quite real aspects of the all inclusive. Quite a few of us understand some portion of the ineffable. Some very few understand a bit more but the difference between those who understand little and those who understand the most is still a distance that cannot be measured. It is measureless, when measured against the aggregate ignorance of all of them since time began.
Find God. Trouble yourself with nothing else. Everything else is a waste of time and time is one of your most precious commodities, given how precious a human birth is and how very, very tragic the waste of such an opportunity is; I cannot tell you the value of that but I have some small idea of what it is. Take my recommendation, seek God with all your heart and soul and mind. Seek God in every act and thought and word. Yes… distractions will come aplenty. You will come to despise yourself for the weakness in you but you will never stop because the divine fever of the love of the almighty has taken root in you and you will prevail. Remember this through all the trials and torments that will come your way. That fever has taken root and you will not be forgotten even if you forget yourself. God is not like you nor I, until that blessed day when it become true. We might fail and we might forget but God does neither. Let that be your hope when it seems that all other hope has failed. Let that be your light when all the false lights have failed and when it is better to be blind than to be led by any of them.
God is all seeing in such a way that every sense he possesses can act as any other sense and he has a finer sense of each that sits atop the usual senses and above those, yet more extraordinary facilities that we cannot name because naming them in a way tends to define them and they cannot be defined, nor can those of an ever more refined nature and capacity that continue past the perception of anyone but God. Any one of us who have certain extraordinary gifts have them only because they have been bestowed for the purpose of demonstration or the withholding of all demonstrations. Try to figure it out and be sure to come to your wits end in the effort.
Some very dark things have come after me lately. They have come for my mind and my physical well being. I do not know what they mean. I don’t know what the purpose of demonstration is. What I do know is that there is one. I know I have had certain levels of pain but that would seem to come with the territory. I imagine there is something I can do about that. The lack of any health insurance is certainly not a plus but I am working on that. I have so little it seems to me that I can be covered no matter what and I do have food and shelter and it looks like I will for the duration. I’m telling you these things only because at some point they may affect what I am able to do but I will keep at it for as long as I can. It’s one of those terrible ironies of life that when you finally have just about everything you thought you might have wanted in order to do all the things you thought you wanted to do, you get to sit there and look at it and wonder what it is you are going to find out soon enough. Me… I just have to laugh. It’s the way I’m made. I had so many turn arounds go down in the wrong direction, I got to where I didn’t know what the direction was anymore. All I knew was I was supposed to keep going and I did and… so I have and… here I am.
God’s got something up for me and it might be very good; the news might be good or it might be another kind of good; what I would call good but which I suppose most people fear but I do not. For some reason I’m not afraid of anything I can think of that I consider a possibility. I suppose there are things I might well fear but they are most unlikely, given my associates. We’ve all got associates and we got them based on who we are and what we are. This is where our real investments lie. They lie in whatever we considered most important to invest ourselves in and everything that is part of us, as a real part of us or as an extension by possession, these are all an investment. I made mine in blood and struggle and just about every kind of difficulty you can imagine and that is how I come to write about the things I write about in the ways I write about them. That is how everyone else comes to be employed or engaged in whatever that happens to be. My end has shown no profit at all on the level everyone else measures it all by, On the other hand, I am richer than anyone on Earth. It takes time for anything to come to fruition, be it a peach tree or a painting… or a life for that matter.
I look at my life and I think, sometimes, what the Hell did I go through all of this for? Then I think about the love that burbles up in my heart and I KNOW, it was worth it. When I go into a supermarket and I genuinely want to reach out and change someone’s day, or pass someone in the street, or wind up in a restaurant talking to the owner who came from the same part of Italy I lived in and he brings his wife over and we have this wonderful talk and I find that he’s been married about as long as I’ve been alive and his wife says nothing because I am sure she doesn’t speak a word of English and he is telling me how he came to America with nothing and a few years later owned 6 pizza shops and now just this high end Italian joint that we walked into because we had to wait somewhere for an hour or so and he tells me he’s had two strokes and cancer twice and a few other things and his wife just looks at him likes he’s her whole life, which I am sure is true and I can see he probably won’t last the year and I feel like smacking myself in the face for my poor concerns and probably imaginary uncertainties and he says, with a smile, “Hey… what are you going to do?” And I almost weep but not quite and maybe they will come by for dinner next week or not but it’s okay cause I had that time with him, like I do with people every day because all that suffering and hardship taught me some things about people that I will never forget and that I thank the almighty God for every day for having made me see these things and be the way I am now.
I don’t care what you may own or how much money you got in the bank or all the false friends that it allows you to rent for the time you need some kind of human reassurance in which there is not one drop of sincerity. I don’t care how many important people you can get on the phone or who already knows your name when you get to the door and I can close my eyes and talk to someone more important than you will ever meet and have them talk back to me and I just think to myself, “ah what a folly is life.” I think to myself how easily and completely people deceive themselves and each other and never share anything meaningful the way some of us do every single day and just how powerful and real that is compared to all the tea in China and all the open legs that spread for whoever feels that paying for it somehow equates to true affection. I just have to laugh and I know that no matter what tribulation or momentary loss of any momentary thing I might have to endure, there are just some things that no one can take away from you and these things are very much like a passport that opens the door to worlds and solar systems that too few of us have ever even heard of. Search for God. Give it all the attention you can remember to put on it at every occasion you are lucky enough to be reminded to do so and I promise you not only a life worth having lived but a life that will never end nor be less wonderful and beautiful than it continues to become with every passing moment.