As a former owner of two dating services for men, I can tell you the blame falls on both sides. Many of these guys that came to me were scared to even speak to an American woman. They had issues and never really had a good relationship with any woman. In their minds they feel that because these ladies don’t have much as far as money or schooling that they can own and run their lives the way they see fit. More like master and slave. That might work for a while, but after the lady gets to know people in the u.s and they see how she is treated, she finds out she doesn’t have to be the slave to this man, that other couples are more equal then she and him.
Many times, these men are so blinded by this young playboy bunny of a girlfriend and the wonderful sex that they are now getting, they lose what little mind and control they have. I have seen men come to Colombia and meet a lady and a week later get married to her. What would happen if you tried that with a u.s. lady? Then act like you can’t speak but 10 percent English. She would think you’re nuts, but yet they come here and do that all the time, and then cry because it doesn’t work.
The lady they pick gives up everything she has ever known, all family, friends, food, everything to come to the u.s. with a man and do what? sit in the house all day with nothing while he works, then he comes home wanting a meal and some t.v. and then more sex. What life does she have? Who wouldn’t get tired of that over a few months?
All these women come from poor backgrounds, and family is everything to them. Can anyone blame them for asking her new husband to help her family? My wife is Colombian, and when she came back to the u.s. with me and saw my home, she asked me how many families live here? Her family home had 12 people living in it, and it was the size of my living room.
I have been married to this lady for 6 years, we have never had a fight. She doesn’t have a car, nor a credit card, even though I have offered to give her both. I have to force her to spend money on herself. I send $200.00 per month back to her family which is about what I spend on my two cats and one dog. We have two little girls, one 3 years and one 4 months old. This lady treats me like a king and always has.
Why is this? was I just the lucky one out of hundreds? no.. I spent time in that country. I dated many women; I learned the players and could spot one after a hour or so of being with them. I wasn’t blinded by her looks and so happy that a woman that looked like this wanted to be with me. In other words, the little head wasn’t doing all the thinking and talking.
Women are women, no matter where they were born. Yes they have another culture but they are all the same. They all look for a man who can provide for them and their children. It’s the same in the animal kingdom where the male moose fight to see who has the right to breed. The females watch and won’t breed with the loser.
Yes, many of these type of marriages fail, and you have these guys now writing how bad things were, but yet I bet you that you can find four men that can tell you just as many horror stories about what their ex from New York did to them. I feel that your web site If it really is based on trying to save males, would be a ton more helpful to point out many of the facts to some of these losers before it happens to them. Not just letting them write how it ended up. Hell anyone thinking with their big head could tell you how it will end up.
Just read that post by “Brokenhearted Brit” —
“Despite her speaking no English and my Chinese being basic at the time, we seemed to hit it off.”
“My wife (then my girlfriend) told me she loved me and I was suckered in by her victim sob-story of how her violent dad would throw her against walls which is why she behaves like a demented control-freak most of the time: has to have her own way, be right about everything and have an opinion about everything…”
“She’s massively insecure and this is just compensatory behaviour ”
Now are you freaking kidding me? My god who could have ever bet this marriage would fail!!!!
I see the same thing here in Panama. American’s spend their whole lives seeing tv spots and books saying that you have made it if you could ever retire and be able to live on the beach. It’s all a pipe dream once they get there. Most are ready to sell and move within two years.***
These men jumping into a marriage are the same as diving off a 50 ft cliff into water that they have no idea is 3 ft deep. If they would take the time to learn about these countries and their customs, as well as take the time to get to know a new lady friend, I would think that many would pick better partners, and end up happy instead of on your site telling how bad the ladies are.
From 5 years in the dating service, I would say that 90 percent of the guys that used us spent two weeks there. Here’s a normal call from them: “Hello, this is Fred TyLer from Kansas and myself and my boy who is 24 are planning to come down next month. We picked the ladies number 345 and 192 that we want to meet. We will be there for 8 days. Can you get all the paperwork done so we can marry them and that way they can fly back with us?
Now think about that, here this father and son are looking at a photo, never once even thought about IF these two ladies would even like them, have never spoken to them, but yet are planning to fly in, marry them and take them home all within 8 days. Not only the problems above, but they have no clue what it takes to bring those ladies back to the U.S. Do you or your son speak Spanish Fred? ahhhh no.
Wow I foresee two more men who will be adding their letters to your site. When you make stupid choices, stupid things happen to you. Most all the guys who wrote you made stupid choices so why are they so shocked and hurt about it now?
***Well the point is that people stuck in a 9 to 5 job, talking the L train to and from their jobs while there is 4 ft of new snow out, get to look at what is sold to them as paradise, sunny weather with the ocean sounds. What it turns out to be is hot as hell, sand fleas, and sand everywhere in your home, from the crack of your ass to your dinner. These guys are sold much in the same way, that these women from other countries are that paradise, young, tanned, fit women, like the sunny, white beaches with clear water, they both have there draw backs.