I Just Want to Be a Useful Tool

I want to be a useful tool. I enjoy to be employed. I’m Able capable of Cain Ola but would rather crunch the destructions into fertile fields and factories of pleasant interact instead of disorder and flatulence and fat. I am okay with neat and tidy and can do wild at the fringe, even if those days are over with those girls across the border. I don’t mind law and order …if it is natural. I am a singular piece, sometimes jury-rigged for a moment to get that Slim Jim hot car fix in order to go “down on Eldridge Ave” and drive all night without getting caught because stealing a car was not the point but a necessity of the time. So apparently sometimes you live outside the law and you are honest.

I’m a tool and people have used me. You are a tool, so you know what I am talking about. People have used you too. Sometimes people have used me in the right way and sometimes they used me wrong. I knew that right away because that is not my purpose so I rebelled against my owner. I didn’t turn myself upon him but I refused to be put to a use for which I was not intended. This made me a bad tool. I don’t understand. I may not be a good tool entirely but I am a useful tool. I really do want to be useful even more than I want to be good because good and bad are often theater actors and they switch roles. For me, being a tool, goes beyond being good and evil.

As I said, I am a tool and people have used me. They have used me for what I was designed for and also for what I was not designed for; mostly for what I was not designed for so that being properly used came to mean something a lot like freedom and joy. I can’t tell you how good it makes me feel when people use me well because it is beyond my capacity in this area of endeavor and my capacity in this area of endeavor is considerable. I hope you get the picture.

I am a lucky tool in many ways because a tool user picked me up and has been using me the right way and I am very grateful about that. One of my jobs as a tool is to study what other tools do and watch what happens when they are wrongfully employed. I’m supposed to report on that to the Toolmaster and I do and sometimes it gets fixed and sometimes it doesn’t.

It’s a crying shame what happens to us. We have so much potential and it gets put to inefficient use. The reason this happens is because there is a certain type of person who wants to own all of the tools. Even worse, they want to abuse and torment the tools for their own pleasure. For reasons unknown to me they get enjoyment out of it. I suspect that when you have it all a certain realization dawns on you that you didn’t actually get whatever it was that you thought you were going to get and it makes you mean. You weren’t a nice person to begin with or you wouldn’t have wanted all the tools for yourself but… not getting what you thought you would get has made you a nasty customer indeed and you take it out on the tools! As if it was their fault. “Paavam”; my Malayalam and Hindi are not what they need to be but that says it.

I don’t speak Tamil nor do I know where Kubla Khan’s underground river runs to the sea, even if I happen to live there presently. I’m just a tool but I am a useful tool. You are a useful tool. It is quite possible that you have more uses than you know about. Much of what we are capable of is not a desired result for the tool hoarders and abusers.

What I want to know is; what do we make of the tools in the display window? These are the tools you see who perform their jobs in the political, religious and media arenas. We are given to believe that these tools have the ability to do the job they commissioned for. Still, for some reason the job never gets done or it gets done wrong; costs far too much, requires far more tools that the job requires, breaks the tools, kills your dog, rapes your daughter and then takes two Quaaludes and calls the doctor for you in the morning.

Being a tool I know that there are not good tools and bad tools. Tools are tools, although there are inferior and superior tools. It’s the purpose that defines the matter and sets the tone, tenor and shape of the construction. Two main points about tools are facility and efficiency and there is the specific tool for the specific porpoise. There are others so you should think about that now.

Is the purpose the porpoise or is the porpoise The Dauphin or is the dolphin going to be able to free Willie? Maybe John Lily and some other people understood things that we need to know, since we are tools involved in occupations by which we identify ourselves.

So, let us look at the tools on display and the perversions of their porpoises and let us look at the few eccentric tools that stick out of the woodwork. I’ve seen these people; Jessie Ventura, Ron Paul, Dennis Kucinich, Cynthia McKinney and a few other Swiss Army type knives and I know they may have some soft spots in their temper due to the metal coming into contact with heat for which is was not designed and they may have made a mistake here or there. I know the feeling. I make mistakes but I’m trying to quit.

Wouldn’t you think… that Mr. Tall Drink of amber beer water falling into the Lincoln Reflecting Pool would want to make Jesse the ventura dolphin his minister of defense?

Wouldn’t you think that Ron Paul should be Secretary of Treasury? Doesn’t that make this dual purpose tool multifaceted? Shouldn’t Cynthia McKinney be the Ambassador to the United Nations? Shouldn’t Dennis Kucinich be an important part of this? Are these the wrong tools? Is this the wrong factory? I’m sensing some presssssure. We see that the agenda that was, is the agenda that is and the right tools never get close to the perfect fit because the game is fixed and that’s why you are always playing catchup or chasing the rabbit because it spins the wheels in the hamsters cage and some of us wind up picking Spaniards out of the works when we were really designed to teach you how to fly.

I think it’s long past time for the tools to start telling their users that they just won’t do what they aren’t supposed to do just so that psychopaths can have their ‘parent-free night out’ at the elementary school playground. Why would ancient living lies believe that drinking the blood of young things will make them young? …when being what they are, is what made them old in the first place… it’s a puzzle. For some tools the purpose of life is to tie your self up in knots. For me that is not so, I wouldn’t mind except that the Tool-Nazis seem to want to make it a law that you have to be tied up in knots. This puts me in a quandary because one of my ‘job specific’ porpoises is to untangle knots and slide through nets.

In the next few days, being the sort of tool that I am, I get the distinct impression that a whole lot of things are going to start falling apart simply because the right tools weren’t used in the first place. Then we are going to have to use the right tools anyway and it will just be a lot more problematic.

I think you are probably tired of being applied to purposes that are not in your job description because you don’t see, “He’s your Daddy” on your birth certificate. I left that assembly line a long time ago and I just thought you ought to know that there is a whole other world out there where tools get used for what they were made to do. This is just one tool talking to other tools but I think you ought to start talking to each other.

Spread Your Wings


Smoking Mirrors looks at much of what the mainstream media ignores. While in Profiles in Evil, he seeks to expose those shrouded in darkness to nature’s most powerful disinfectant, light.