Latest “Saddam” Tape Emerges on Wolfowitz Cue

Poor old Saddam!

If we are to believe the American Administration, CNN, and in particular Paul Wolfowitz [the man behind the man behind the man behind the New World Order], Saddam Hussein has just lost two sons and is now completely hemmed-in by 5,000 heavily armed members of the spooky Task Force 20, who have allegedly narrowed the area of search for Saddam’s bunker down to a final few hundred square yards.

In addition Wolfowitz claims to have captured Saddam’s top bodyguard, who will very soon tell all in a tasteful redecorated dungeon at the Adnan Chalabi “Nouveau Savak” prison.

Yet despite these enormous difficulties, Saddam Hussein has once again defied the odds and managed to get a new audio tape out to Dubai-based Al Arabiya television, in which he forgets to berate America for killing his sons, and forgets to demand that his sons be buried immediately in accord with local religious requirements.

Sources close to the Iraqi President [within a few hundred square yards as it happens], say they tried to stop the messenger as he left Saddam’s bunker with the vital audio tape, but were unable to do so. Despite the use of remote controlled drones, heavy gunfire and twenty-two expensive Stinger missiles, Saddam’s frightened and seriously overloaded carrier pigeon was able to gain cruising altitude for the 850 mile non-stop flight to Dubai.

Even as we speak, forensic experts in Baghdad are working on a full-size Play Doh model of Saddam, based on one of his four known doubles, who is currently hanging upside down on a nearby hook. When the time is right, Wolfowitz will triumphantly unveil “Saddam’s” body in the Baghdad Morgue, and claim victory for New York and the New World Order. Hurrah!

Unfortunately, all this deception will not stop American soldiers from dying in Iraq.